Episode 331
The Legendary Fried Apple Pie Returns—Grab It Before It’s Gone! ⏳🍽️
McDonald's is bringing back the legendary fried apple pie, and honestly, it's about to wreck our summer diet in the best way possible! This crispy, bubbling masterpiece is making a comeback for the first time in over 30 years, just in time to celebrate America’s 250th birthday. If you remember these bad boys, you know they’re like a deliciously dangerous volcano of molten cinnamon ready to scorch your taste buds! We’re talking about a pie so hot, it could double as a lava lamp—and guess what? There's even a 35-foot replica on Route 66 to remind us of the sweet burn! So, get ready to dive into nostalgia and maybe a lawsuit if you burn your mouth—because this pie is only here until July 4th!
Takeaways:
- McDonald's is bringing back the fried apple pie, y'all! Get ready for nostalgia and burns!
- These pies are like little lava bombs that can scorch your mouth—proceed with caution!
- They're building a giant fried apple pie on Route 66 for all you road trippers—totally epic!
- The fried apple pie is only here until July 4th, so get 'em while they're hot!
- Remember the baked version? It tasted like cardboard—thank goodness the fried one is back!
- If you burn your mouth, remember to call Grimace and Grimace for some tasty legal help!
Transcript
Good morning, it's Haystack.
Speaker A:And get ready to completely destroy your summer diet.
Speaker A:McDonald's announced they are officially bringing back the legendary fried apple pie to honor America's 250th birthday.
Speaker A:Resurrecting the crispy, bubbly dessert for the first time in over 30 years.
Speaker A:Going to hit most US stores next Tuesday.
Speaker A:Now, if you're under the age of 35, you may have no idea what I'm talking about.
Speaker A: In: Speaker A:It was a dark day for American fast food.
Speaker A:The baked version tastes like hot cardboard filled with library paste.
Speaker A:But the original fried version, a culinary masterpiece, came in this little cardboard sleeve.
Speaker A:And the crust was so blistered and flaky and heavily bubbling that it looked like it was forged in Mount Doom.
Speaker A:And let's be honest about the danger here.
Speaker A:If you remember eating these back in the day, you know that the internal temperature of a McDonald's fried apple pie roughly the same as the surface of the sun.
Speaker A:The outer crust would look perfectly safe, but the second that you bit into it, a tidal wave of molten cinnamon lava would deploy directly onto the roof of your mouth, immediately stripping away at least three layers of skin.
Speaker A:You couldn't taste anything else for at least a week.
Speaker A:They're actually building a 35 foot replica fried apple pie on Route 66 in Illinois to give motorists a terrifying monument to look at while they wait on their mouths to heal.
Speaker A:The pie is said to only be available in the US until July 4th, though, so you've got a very tight window to permanently scar your taste buds.
Speaker B:To honor America's 250th birthday, McDonald' is bringing back its famous fried apple pie.
Speaker A:And that means one thing.
Speaker B:I just burned the roof of my mouth.
Speaker B:If this happens to you, call the law office of Grimace and Grimace.
Speaker B:If someone can sue over hot coffee, you can sue over a hot apple pie.
Speaker B:The steaming hot lava of apple filling turned my uvula into a giant purple blob.
Speaker B:So I called the giant purple blobs at Grimace and Grimace.
Speaker B:We are the same law firm that's gotten the Hamburglar out of jail on countless occasions.
Speaker B:So let us fight for you.
Speaker C:After I burned my tongue, I tried to cool it down with a chocolate shake and got brain freeze.
Speaker B:We'll sue them for that, too.
Speaker B:Call Grimace and Grimace now and get a settlement that's super sized.
Speaker C:Da da da da da.
Speaker C:I'm suing them.
