Episode 116
Morning 6-Pack - Time to Ditch That Christmas Tree Carcass!
Morning 6-Pack - It's National Take Down Your Christmas Tree Day, y’all! 🎄🎉 Time to bid farewell to that dry, flammable tree carcass that’s been shedding needles like it’s auditioning for a horror movie. We’re diving into the madness of dismantling the holiday decor, and let’s be real—who hasn’t turned their living room into a holiday crime scene while dragging that tree out? 😂 But don’t worry, I’ve got the top six reasons why you might wanna keep that tree up all year long, from hiding Easter eggs to giving your Roomba a workout! So grab your coffee, kick back, and let’s laugh through this post-holiday chaos together! National Take Down Your Christmas Tree Day is here, folks! And let’s be real, it’s the one day we all collectively admit that Christmas has officially left the building. Haystack dives into the hilarity of dragging that dry, sad tree out of our homes while trying not to leave a trail of needles like some sort of holiday crime scene. Seriously, if you have a real tree, it’s practically a fire hazard at this point! And if you think carrying it out gently is a thing, guess again—there’s no such thing as a needle-free exit. But wait, Haystack has a wild idea: what if we just kept our trees up all year? He breaks down the top six reasons to keep that Christmas tree around, from using it as a makeshift Valentine’s decoration to providing a fresh pine scent that covers up all sorts of shenanigans. Buckle up for a chuckle as we explore the absurdity of holiday decorations gone rogue and the joys of a permanent Christmas vibe!
Transcript
Good morning, It's Haystack and happy national take down your Christmas tree day.
Speaker A:Yeah, the most magical time of the year when we finally admit that Christmas is over and start to dry a drag a dry, flammable tree carcass out the front door.
Speaker A:And look, I get it.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's the 6th of January, which means the 12 days of Christmas just ended.
Speaker A:And by the way, nobody knows.
Speaker A:People thinks it leads up to Christmas.
Speaker A:No, they start on Christmas.
Speaker A:So all those partridges and pipers were technically late.
Speaker A:Santa's already on a beach somewhere snipping eggnog out of a coconut while we try to figure out what to do with a tree dropping more needles than a porcupine in a barbershop.
Speaker A:Look, also, if you have a real tree, it's so dry, if you sneeze too hard, the whole thing could spontaneously combust.
Speaker A:It's a tinderbox, so try to get rid of it.
Speaker A:Which means you know you're gonna make a mess.
Speaker A:You start off like, oh, I'll just.
Speaker A:I'll just gently carry it out.
Speaker A:And then there's a bazillion pine needles in your socks and your cat and you.
Speaker A:There's a trail through the living room like a holiday crime scene, only instead of.
Speaker A:Anyway, it's.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:Look, just get rid of the tree.
Speaker A:Take it down.
Speaker A:If it's.
Speaker A:You know, if it's a fake one, it still needs to go.
Speaker A:This is the day all of your decorations are supposed to come down.
Speaker A:The wreath, the lights, the inflatable Santa who's been deflated but still in the yard for the last week.
Speaker A:Poor guys look like he partied too hard and passed out on the lawn.
Speaker A:Anyway, it's time to take it all down.
Speaker A:It's over.
Speaker A:But if you want to leave your tree up all year long, I can think of some good reasons why you should.
Speaker A:Best way to start your day.
Speaker A:These six jokes he's about to say.
Speaker A:Listen up.
Speaker A:For old Haystack, crack Open the Morning 6, pack the top six reasons to keep your Christmas tree free all year long.
Speaker A:6.
Speaker A:If you're so gung ho about getting rid of wasted space in your house, just toss out your spouse.
Speaker A:5.
Speaker A:That fresh pine scent can mask the smell of the drugs you're cooking in the basement.
Speaker A:Four, all those dead needles give the Roomba something to do.
Speaker A:Three, you can decorate it with hearts for Valentine's Day.
Speaker A:You can hide Easter eggs in it for Easter or smoke it for 420.
Speaker A:Number two, it gives you something to watch slowly dying beside your soul and the number one reason to keep your Christmas tree up all year long.
Speaker A:Taking it down requires work and you're a lazy.
