Episode 23
Morning 6-Pack - Parenthood: The Good, The Bad, and The Hilarious
Ever feel like you’re totally failing at this whole parenting gig? Yeah, me too! Haystack kicks things off with some hilariously relatable stats about parental guilt. Turns out, the average parent thinks they’re doing a lousy job about 156 times a year—yikes! That’s like three times a week! But don’t fret, because amidst the chaos, parents are also getting some serious laughs from their kiddos. With kids making us chuckle about 12 times a day (that’s some major giggle fuel), Haystack shares his own wild story about a rather questionable parenting technique he witnessed. Spoiler alert: it involves a lot of running away and a dash of disbelief! Then we dive into Haystack’s “Morning 6-Pack,” where he lists the top six things parents do that make that pesky inner voice scream, “You’re a bad parent!” From misplacing noisy toys to the classic ice cream truck lie, it's a rollercoaster of laughs! And let’s not forget the ultimate flying hack: drugging yourself (and maybe the kids)! Buckle up for a wild ride of parenting confessions that’ll make you feel like a champ, even on your worst days!
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker A:I'm Haystack.
Speaker A:Do you ever feel like a bad parent?
Speaker A:Do you ever admit to yourself, yeah, I'm a bad parent for this?
Speaker A:Well, the average parent feels like a bad parent about 156 times a year.
Speaker A:That's roughly three times a week, according to a new report.
Speaker A:And 45% of parents say that parenthood is more demanding than they ever expected.
Speaker A:The average parent discovers two situations with their children per week that they have absolutely no clue how to handle.
Speaker A:And parents admit that they need a break from their parenting duties twice a week.
Speaker A:Yeah, good.
Speaker A:Good luck with that.
Speaker A:It's not all bad, though.
Speaker A:A lot of parents are saying their kids make them laugh a bunch.
Speaker A:In fact, parents say their kids make them laugh 12 times a day on average.
Speaker A:Do you ever do.
Speaker A:What do you do?
Speaker A:The bad parent thing is always so interesting to me, and I probably should not tell this story.
Speaker A:But you know what I'm gonna share.
Speaker A:There was a girl I was kind of sort of not really dating, spending time with, who had a young boy.
Speaker A:And I'm not gonna.
Speaker A:I'm not gonna go into a bunch of illicit details other than to say one of her parenting techniques was to pinch the young man's what makes him a boy instead of a girl through his diaper and say, if you don't stop, mommy's going to pinch it off.
Speaker A:I ran away.
Speaker A:I've been criticized for not calling the police.
Speaker A:I just ran away and stopped being around that particular person anyway.
Speaker A:So that leads me to.
Speaker A:Does the little voice in your head ever tell you that you're a bad parent?
Speaker B:Well, gather round, folks.
Speaker B:It's the time of day when we laugh and smile in a lighthearted way.
Speaker B:Tune in for the giggles and let's kick back.
Speaker B:Here comes the fun.
Speaker B:It's the morning six pack.
Speaker A:These are the top six things that a parent does with their kids.
Speaker A:And then the tiny voice in their head says, yeah, I'm a bad parent.
Speaker A:Number six, misplace any toys that make noise.
Speaker A:Number five, tell them the ice cream truck only plays music to let you know that it's sold out.
Speaker A:Number four, fix their hair at church by licking your hand.
Speaker A:Number three, threaten to have a guy who does not actually exist put them on his naughty list.
Speaker A:And here we go.
Speaker A:The top six things parents do with their kids that makes the tiny voice in their heads go, yeah, I'm a bad parent.
Speaker A:Number two, drug the children before flying.
Speaker A:And number one, drug themselves before flying with the kid.
Speaker A:Xanax.
