Episode 426
Alabama Bama - Tanning Tips from a Human Rotisserie Chicken
Alabama Bama's back at it again, y'all! This time, she's dishing out the scoop on her wild tanning escapades and how she thinks sunscreen's the real villain in all this sun drama. Forget the health warnings, Bama’s been frying since the '80s and thinks she’s got the perfect shade down pat—she calls it "smoked hickory." And let’s just say, her reasoning is as questionable as the decisions that got her there! With a side of rotisserie chicken analogies and a whole lotta laughs, this call is all about how to get that perfect tan (or maybe just a great excuse to hit the salon). Buckle up, folks; it’s gonna be a hilarious ride!
Takeaways:
- Bama thinks tanning salons are making a comeback, but she’s been frying since Reagan.
- Sunscreen? Nah, Bama once drank a whole bottle and felt nothing—classic Bama!
- Bama's unique tanning shade? Smoked hickory—definitely a beauty standard of her own!
- Forget SPF, Bama's idea of tanning is getting roasted like a rotisserie chicken.
- Bama’s secret to that golden glow? Early bird specials at the tanning salon, obviously!
- Who needs healthy skin when you can look like a well-loved baseball glove?
Transcript
Good morning and taste act.
Speaker A:It's time for my favorite time of the week when we chat with my dear old friend Bama down in rural Alabama.
Speaker A:And Bama's joining us on the phone now.
Speaker A:Bama, I've seen a bunch of reports lately talking about these kids are way over tanning and in fact tanning salons are making a big comeback and I, I immediately thought of you.
Speaker B:Oh hey Stack.
Speaker B:Yeah, I, I gotta say thanks, I appreciate that.
Speaker B:Shoot, I ain't never stopped of frying.
Speaker B:That's why I look like a 5 foot 4 raw hot pig ear.
Speaker B:Bam.
Speaker A:I guess that's one way to describe it.
Speaker B:These young gals think that they invented this tanning.
Speaker B:Honey, I've been baking since Reagan was in office.
Speaker A:You know, a lot of people would say tanning's not exactly healthy.
Speaker B:Oh, they's always a blaming the tanning, but I think they're a pointing a finger at the wrong thing.
Speaker A:Oh yeah,.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Sunscreen's the real culprit now.
Speaker A:Bam, I don't think that's.
Speaker B:I tried sunscreen one time.
Speaker A:And what happened?
Speaker B:Well, I drank the whole bottle, Bama.
Speaker B:And I didn't feel nothing.
Speaker B:And I thought, well, this stuff don't work worth a lick.
Speaker A:Bama, you're not.
Speaker A:Maybe I.
Speaker B:Just bought the weak stuff.
Speaker B:Next time I'll try higher proof like an SPF 50.
Speaker B:Okay, SPF.
Speaker A:Is.
Speaker A:You know what, never mind.
Speaker B:That's why I stick to what I know.
Speaker B:You put me in a tanning bed long enough and I'll come out of looking like a well loved baseball glove.
Speaker A:Now I'm not sure that's the beauty standard most people are after.
Speaker B:Well, it is where I tan.
Speaker B:They call my shade smoked hickory.
Speaker A:Oh, of course they do.
Speaker B:Anyway, I gots to go haystack my tannin spots.
Speaker B:Got an early bird special.
Speaker A:Okay, okay, what's the special?
Speaker B:Well, if you get there before 9 o' clock in the morning, they'll rotate you like a rotisserie chicken at no extra charge.
Speaker B:You don't get this golden brown by accident Shaker, you'll have great days.
Speaker B:Talk to you later.
Speaker B:Bye bye.
