Episode 88
Alabama Bama on Thanksgiving: Who Needs Turkey Anyway?
Alabama Bama’s Thanksgiving plans are a wild ride this week! Instead of splurging on a turkey, she’s going all in with fireball shots and Hot Pockets—because who needs a golden bird when you can have a microwave miracle? Bama's strategy involves getting everyone buzzed and then serving up a feast of frozen delights, claiming it’s all about the “thankful” vibes! I mean, she’s got a point; nothing says gratitude like a sugar-drunk crowd munching on pizza rolls. So grab your snacks and get ready for some seriously chaotic holiday hacks that’ll have you laughing all the way to the fridge! Thanksgiving just got a wild twist, folks! Haystack and Alabama Bama dive into the chaos that is holiday prep with a hefty dose of humor and a splash of Fireball. Bama's Thanksgiving plan? Skip the turkey and go straight for the Hot Pockets! Yep, you heard that right. As Bama explains her genius idea of serving up frozen pizzas while pretending to check on a nonexistent turkey, we can't help but chuckle at the sheer absurdity. Why buy a turkey when you can serve up a sugar-high crowd with snackable goodness? With her signature blend of hilarity and Southern charm, Bama reveals how to keep family gatherings light and hilarious, and honestly, it’s a recipe for disaster we can’t help but love. Who needs a turkey when you have a Hot Pocket army ready to roll?
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker A:It's Haystack.
Speaker A:It's pretty much my favorite time of the week when we chat with my dear old friend Bama down in rural Alabama.
Speaker A:And Bama joins us on the phone.
Speaker A:Bama, have you seen these reports?
Speaker A:The Thanksgiving prices are going to be pretty high this year.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, I done seen them, Haystack.
Speaker B:And let me tells you, I am not buying no turkey.
Speaker B:My plan this year is pretty simple.
Speaker B:I'm going to hit folks with some fireball shots as soon as they walk in the door.
Speaker B:Then once they are properly marinated, they're going to believe whatever I tell them.
Speaker A:Oh, no.
Speaker A:That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Speaker B:No, not at all.
Speaker B:I was going to make a big show of checking the oven and be like, oh, the turkey's looking good, y'.
Speaker B:All.
Speaker B:Meanwhile, there ain't no turkey.
Speaker B:I'm just burning the crap out of some digiornos.
Speaker B:Then I holler, oh, no, the turkey's ruined.
Speaker A:Wait, Wait a minute.
Speaker A:You're replacing turkey with frozen pizza?
Speaker B:Oh, no, no, no.
Speaker B:Hot Pockets.
Speaker B:Sugar drunk people love Hot Pockets more than I love a good Marlboro Red.
Speaker B:After being around a child, they'll be drunk and fed and thankful.
Speaker A:Oh, no.
Speaker A:This.
Speaker A:This may be the most chaotic Thanksgiving plan that I've ever heard.
Speaker B:Well, I gotta make do with what I can.
Speaker B:Anyway, I got to go.
Speaker B:If I was going to have a bunch of my friends and family over here, I got to hide anything worth more than $11.
Speaker A:$11?
Speaker A:That's your idea of holiday prep?
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:If it can't survive a cousin with sticky fingers, it don't belong at Thanksgiving.
