Episode 156
Shower Shenanigans: Who Knew There Was a Right Way?!
So, apparently, there’s a whole debate about how to shower, and I’ve been doing it wrong my entire life! Can you believe it? I thought I was nailing it with my Olympic-level confidence, but nah, turns out there’s a whole choreographed routine I missed! You know, like shampoo, rinse, condition, wash your body, rinse again—who knew it was like assembling IKEA furniture in there? 😂 Now I’m overthinking everything and wondering if I’m gonna end up with body acne just because I skipped a step. So grab your loofah and tune in as we dive into this sudsy convo and make showering fun again! Don't forget to stick around for the laughs, puns, and maybe a rogue raccoon reference or two! 🦝💦
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker A:It's Haystack.
Speaker A:And you know the Internet loves to argue over practically anything.
Speaker A:And I guess I didn't realize that even though I've been showering my whole life, I may not have been doing it right.
Speaker A:I mean, I've been showering for decades with confidence.
Speaker A:I'm talking gold medal Olympian level confidence.
Speaker A:And now I find out there's a correct order, like it's some kind of choreographed dance routine someone posted online.
Speaker A:First you shampoo and rinse, then you.
Speaker A:You wash your face, then you apply conditioner, then you wash your body, then you rinse the conditioner.
Speaker A:And there's been a huge debate online.
Speaker A:Grown adults, allegedly adults, arguing like it's the constitution or some legal class.
Speaker A:I'm sorry, is this a shower, or am I trying to assemble furniture like step 4B?
Speaker A:Apply conditioner.
Speaker A:Do not proceed to armpits until fully lathered.
Speaker A:One guy said no.
Speaker A:My dermatologist says you're wrong.
Speaker A:If you leave conditioner in while you wash your body, it won't fully rinse, and it can clog your pores and cause body acne.
Speaker A:What?
Speaker A:Body acne?
Speaker A:I did not realize that was on the list of things I was managing in the shower.
Speaker A:I thought I was just trying not to slip and die, and now I'm in the shower overthinking everything.
Speaker A:Okay, Shampoo, rinse, condition, rinse.
Speaker A:Now face and body.
Speaker A:And I don't like.
Speaker A:Like, I'm.
Speaker A:I'm a multitasker.
Speaker A:I don't like to just stand there and wait while some conditioner sits in.
Speaker A:You ever just stand in the shower doing nothing?
Speaker A:That's when you start thinking about your life, and that's dangero.
Speaker A:I just don't.
Speaker A:And don't act like we even all follow one routine.
Speaker A:Some days I'm organized.
Speaker A:Some days I'm just in there spinning around like a confused raccoon.
Speaker A:What about the people who wash their legs every single time consistently?
Speaker A:I respect that level of hustle, but I'll admit, sometimes I'm just like, oh, the soap ran down there.
Speaker A:Gravity handled it.
Speaker A:We've reached a point where we need expert consultation.
Speaker A:Expert consultation for our soap order.
Speaker A:Meanwhile, our ancestors are bathing in rivers.
Speaker A:Like, meh.
Speaker A:Water.
Speaker A:Good enough.
Speaker A:I miss the simpler times.
Speaker A:I will admit.
Speaker A:No debate, no dermatology.
Speaker A:Think pieces.
Speaker A:Just water.
Speaker A:And maybe a bar of soap that was also somehow for your hair, your body, the dog.
Speaker A:My favorite comment, though, in the thread came from a woman who said that everyone's example of the correct order is wrong because they all missed one very important step, which is standing in a hot shower for 30 minutes, not moving and contemplating life.
Speaker A:And like I said, contemplating life is dangerous.
Speaker A:But I'm also guilty as charged.
