Episode 563
Morning 6-Pack - Why Boomers Should Totally Still Celebrate Halloween
83% of boomers are skipping Halloween — not because they hate it, they just aren’t participating, and I find that wild. So we hit you with a Morning 6-Pack: six dumb-good reasons why boomers should absolutely love Halloween. I riff on stuff like the joy of handing out hard candy, saving cash by going full zombie, and the undeniable utility of candy corn as fake dentures. We also joke about calling the cobwebs “decor” and ghosts being practice for the afterlife — but I’m not ruining the best punchline. Fast, silly, and way too smug about candy, this one’s short, snarky, and ready to make you laugh.
Takeaways:
- I mention the poll: millennials 61% and Gen Z 55% plan Halloween stuff, while Gen X drops to 32%.
- I note that only 17% of boomers are celebrating Halloween, meaning 83% of them plan to stay in.
- I joke that even though about 90% of boomers say they have no objection, they still mostly skip participating.
- I throw out goofy reasons boomers should love Halloween — like handing out hard candy or pretending cobwebs are decorations.
- I rib that boomers can save money by going as a zombie, or pretend candy corn doubles as dentures for laughs.
Transcript
Good morning, it's Haystack.
Speaker A:And apparently the scariest thing about Halloween for older Americans is participating in Halloween.
Speaker A:There is a new poll asking people what they're doing for Halloween this year, whether they're doing anything that is.
Speaker A:And millennials are the most active at 61% of them saying, yeah, we're doing something for Halloween.
Speaker A:55% Of Gen Z, then you go to Gen X, it drops all the way to 32% and boomers only 17%.
Speaker A:So that means 83% of boomers looked at Halloween and said, yeah, no thanks, I'll just stay in.
Speaker A:And I don't think it's because they hate Halloween.
Speaker A:In fact, about 90% of boomers say they have no objection whatsoever to Halloween.
Speaker A:They're just not participating.
Speaker A:No costume, no party, no haunted house, not even sitting on the porch handing a fun sized snickers to the grandkids.
Speaker A:Maybe Halloween just changes when you get older.
Speaker A:You know, when you're eight, yay.
Speaker A:Free candy when you're 25.
Speaker A:Woohoo.
Speaker A:Costume party at 45.
Speaker A:Do I really need these people ringing my doorbell for three hours?
Speaker A:And then by the time you hit 70, if that motion light comes on one more time, somebody's gonna get the garden hose.
Speaker A:I think it's particularly sad that 83% of boomers aren't gonna celebrate Halloween.
Speaker A:I don't think it makes any sen this list of the reasons boomers should love Halloween.
Speaker A:Here we go.
Speaker A:This morning, six pack the top six reasons why boomers should love Halloween.
Speaker A:Coming in at number six, it's another opportunity to give out hard candy.
Speaker A:Number five, they can save money on a costume and go as a zombie.
Speaker A:Four, leftover candy corn makes great dentures.
Speaker A:Three, spending time around ghosts prepares them for becoming a ghost.
Speaker A:Two, they can act like the cobwebs that are already covering their house are just decorations.
Speaker A:And the number one reason why boomers should absolutely love Halloween.
Speaker A:Trick or treaters make up for the grandkids who never visited.
