Episode 546
Morning 6-Pack - Top 6 Ways to Stay Safe Anywhere
Arkansas landed 46th on WalletHub’s Safest States list — yeah, fifth from the bottom, not exactly honor-roll material. WalletHub used 52 different metrics (crime, road safety, financial security, workplace safety, emergency preparedness — the whole shebang), so this is more than just “who’s got nicer sidewalks.” New England basically cleaned house — Vermont, Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire and Connecticut topped the list — while Mississippi finished dead last (thank God for Mississippi, right?). So we cracked open a Morning 6-Pack: six quick, funny ways to stay safe no matter what state you’re in. I give some legit tips, some dumb jokes, and save the best punchline for the end — not spoiling the #1, you’ll have to hear it. Tune in for fast laughs, straight talk, and a countdown that might actually help you avoid trouble (or at least make you laugh while you try).
Takeaways:
- I laughed, but WalletHub's study actually put Arkansas 46th overall, so yeah, not great.
- We noted the five safest states are basically New England vibes: Vermont, Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire, Connecticut.
- They used fifty-two metrics including crime, road safety, financial security, workplace safety, and emergency preparedness to rank states.
- Our Morning 6-Pack shared quick, silly safety tips — like look both ways when Tiger's driving and carry pepper spray.
- I won't spoil the top tip here, but trust me, its delivery was the show's best punchline.
Transcript
It's Haystack and a study of the Safest states in the Union by WalletHub ranking.
Speaker A:All 50 states has landed.
Speaker A:Do you think Arkansas is a safe state?
Speaker A:Because we did not exactly make the honor roll.
Speaker A:They looked at 52 different metrics from crime and road safety to financial security and workplace safety.
Speaker A:They looked at emergency preparedness.
Speaker A:All 50 of these, 52 of these different metrics in Arkansas did not come in last.
Speaker A:As usual, we get to say thank God for Mississippi.
Speaker A:Arkansas came in 46th, so fifth from the last.
Speaker A:The five safest states were Vermont, Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire and Connecticut.
Speaker A:So basically New England.
Speaker A:Looking at the rest of the country going, have you considered sweaters and lower blood pressure?
Speaker A:Because everything's so calm up in the New England area, outside of the big metros, of course.
Speaker A:Well, I get that Boston's in Massachusetts, but still, you're sure?
Speaker A:What's that at the other end though?
Speaker A:Mississippi dead last.
Speaker A:If you count up from the bottom, it goes Mississippi last, then Louisiana, Texas, Florida and Arkansas.
Speaker A:So we beat Louisiana, Texas, Florida and Mississippi in safety.
Speaker A:Not in football, I promise you, but in safety.
Speaker A:So three of the four states surrounding us are looking over at us going, well, glad, glad we're not Arkansas.
Speaker A:Oh, wait a minute.
Speaker A:Wait, wait a minute.
Speaker A:So obviously a statewide ranking does not mean that every neighborhood in Vermont is perfect or that every place in Arkansas is dangerous.
Speaker A:And this ranking combines a lot more than crime, for example.
Speaker A:Again, road safety counts, financial safety, disaster preparedness.
Speaker A:So apparently we're not just being judged for what might happen to you, we're also being judged for what might happen to your car, your wallet, your roof.
Speaker A:And if you've ever driven i49 with construction going on, you've already contributed to this methodology.
Speaker A:But I say who cares where you are and what state you're in, as long as you understand safety and maybe think about these ways to stay safe no matter where you are.
Speaker B:Best way to start your day.
Speaker B:These six jokes he's about to say, listen up for old Haystack to crack open a morning six pack.
Speaker A:The top six ways to stay safe, no matter which state you're in.
Speaker A:Coming in at number six, look both ways before you cross the street when Tiger woods is driving.
Speaker A:Number five, carry something that will ward off an attacker, like pepper spray or your mother in law.
Speaker A:Do not drink or use drugs in excess unless you want to be cool and fun.
Speaker A:Three, never give your personal information over the phone unless you're the sixth caller and you want free tickets to the amp.
Speaker A:Number two, if something feels wrong.
Speaker A:Trust your gut.
Speaker A:Lord knows it's so big, you can't ignore it anyway.
Speaker A:And the number one way to stay safe, no matter where you are, avoid dark, empty places like a movie theater showing diggers or Razorback Stadium.
Speaker A:No hogs.
