Episode 207
Morning 6-Pack - Top 6 Signs Your Farts Are Super Stinky!
Morning 6-Pack - Fart Science and the Battle of the Genders! Get ready to unleash your giggles because we’re diving into the wild world of, you guessed it, farts! Our buddy Dr. Levitt went all-in on a scientific quest to figure out which gender’s toots pack more punch. Spoiler alert: women’s farts are stronger, but men let ‘em rip more often. It's like the tortoise and the hare, but for gas! We’ll also share the top 6 signs your farts might just clear a room faster than a fire drill. So grab your coffee and let’s get tooting—uh, I mean, talking!
Takeaways:
- Science is tackling the age-old mystery of farts—who knew lab coats were for this?
- Turns out, women have stronger farts while men just fart more often—classic tortoise and hare situation!
- Fart judges are a real thing! Imagine explaining that job at a party—#awkward!
- We learned that farting unites us all—across genders and movie theater seats alike!
- The top six signs your farts are smelly—let's just say, if the dog blames you, you're in trouble!
- After all the science, we still can’t escape the fact that farts are hilarious!
Transcript
It's haystack and science.
Speaker A:Real serious.
Speaker A:Lab coat, grant money.
Speaker A:Science has tackled one of humanity's oldest mysteries.
Speaker A:Which gender is actually worse?
Speaker A:This is where we've landed as a species.
Speaker A:We've cured disease, we've mapped the human genome, and now someone says, let's circle back to farts.
Speaker A:And it's not casually, either.
Speaker A:It's serious stuff.
Speaker A:This isn't just interns giggling in a break room.
Speaker A:This Dr. Levitt said.
Speaker A:We're doing this properly.
Speaker A:Full lab setup, volunteers eating beans like they're Joey Chestnut.
Speaker A:These people thought they signed up for something prestigious.
Speaker A:Sue, I'm contributing to science.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Yes, you are, Just not in the way that your grandmother imagined.
Speaker A:And then they collect samples in bags, and they had human judges smell them.
Speaker A:Fart judges.
Speaker A:Can you imagine explaining what you do for work at a party?
Speaker A:So what do you do?
Speaker A:I evaluate human emissions.
Speaker A:Oh, wow.
Speaker A:So, like, you're into environmental science.
Speaker A:Yeah, sure.
Speaker A:Let's.
Speaker A:Let's go with that.
Speaker A:And after all that, after all the beans, the bags, the bravery, it turns out women farts.
Speaker A:Women.
Speaker A:A woman's farts are stronger on average, but men fart more frequently, more volume.
Speaker A:So it's the tortoise and the hare thing.
Speaker A:One's powerful, one's consistent.
Speaker A:It's essentially a tie.
Speaker A:That's the beauty of the science here.
Speaker A:It didn't solve the problem.
Speaker A:It.
Speaker A:United, is the one thing that can bring all of us together.
Speaker A:Toots across genders, across countries, across seat rows 14 through 20.
Speaker A:In the movie theater.
Speaker A:I always hate going to a movie with my best friend Rob, because he will.
Speaker A:He will cut the cheese in the theater, and everyone stares at the fat guy.
Speaker A:That's the worst part about being a fat guy, is anyone can fart within a mile of you, and you're gonna get the blame.
Speaker A:You always get the blame, even if you're.
Speaker A:Even if your toots aren't smelly.
Speaker A:But if you're wondering if your toots are smelly, well, here's six signs that might give you the answer.
Speaker B:Best way to start your day.
Speaker B:These six jokes he's about to say, listen up for old Haystack to crack open the morning six, pack the top six signs.
Speaker B:Top six signs that your farts are really, really smelly.
Speaker A:Number six, when you blame the dog, the dog blames it right back on you.
Speaker A:Number five, the person next to you just melted like one of those Nazis in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Speaker A:Four, all of the oxygen masks on the airplane just dropped.
Speaker A:Three, everyone in the house just said, oh, my God.
Speaker A:What is that smell?
Speaker A:And the house is the one across the street that said that.
Speaker B:Number two.
Speaker A:After you order beans, the good Lord calls down from above, why hast thou forsaken me?
Speaker B:And the number one sign?
Speaker B:Your farts smell really, really bad.
Speaker A:They've been banned by the Geneva Convention.
Speaker A:Is torture.
Speaker B:Worse than waterboard?
