Episode 39
Morning 6-Pack - Top 6 Petty Reasons to Ditch Your Date!
Yo, grab your coffee and buckle up, fam! We’re diving into the wild world of breakups over the pettiest stuff ever! Haystack kicks off the shenanigans with a Buzzfeed article that’s all about those ridiculous reasons people have said ‘peace out’ to their significant others. I mean, we’re talking stuff like one gal couldn’t handle her dude’s tattoo of his last name plastered across his back—who even does that? Or how about the classic ‘you never thanked me for anything’ breakup? It’s like, c’mon, a little gratitude goes a long way! And then there’s the shoe-obsessed date—three hours of shoe talk? Nah, we’re out! We laugh, we cringe, and we nod our heads in agreement at these totally relatable, yet super silly reasons for calling it quits.
But wait! Haystack spices things up with his own take on what seems petty at first but is totally legit! Imagine dumping someone for not noticing your fresh new bangs—how rude! Or somebody sneezing like a squeaky toy—just no! And let’s not even start on the folks who think Olive Garden is authentic Italian. Like, really? That’s a dealbreaker! This episode is packed with laughs, puns, and those ‘did they really just say that?’ moments that keep us all coming back for more. So, kick back, relax, and let’s dive into the hilarious side of love gone wrong!
Ready for more giggles? Haystack rolls into the Morning 6-Pack, dishing out his top six reasons to dump someone that might sound petty but are actually spot on! From baby talk in bedroom requests to being a Texas Longhorns fan—seriously, that’s a wrap on that relationship! Get ready to laugh, cringe, and maybe even rethink your own dating choices as we explore the absurdity of love and the things that make us go ‘nope!’ Tune in, laugh along, and let’s keep this fun train rolling!
Takeaways:
- Some people have broken up for the pettiest reasons, like not noticing new bangs!
- Ever dumped someone because they talked about shoes for three hours? That’s a vibe!
- If you think Olive Garden is real Italian, we might need to talk. Just saying!
- Baby talk in the bedroom? Nah fam, keep it adult or keep it moving!
- You can totally dump someone over their last name tattoo - it’s just not cute!
- Petty reasons can actually be legit, like being a Texas Longhorns fan – that’s a dealbreaker!
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker A:It's Haystack.
Speaker A:There's a Buzzfeed article of the pettiest reasons that people have broken things off with someone.
Speaker A:Now, this is typically talking about relationships that are more.
Speaker A:What is the term I used the other day that they added the dictionary?
Speaker A:Nano.
Speaker A:Nano ships.
Speaker A:Is that right?
Speaker A:Short term relationships.
Speaker A:Let's put it that way.
Speaker A:Flings.
Speaker A:But some of the silly ones.
Speaker A:She got mad.
Speaker A:I never viewed her Instagram stories.
Speaker A:I barely used Instagram.
Speaker A:It's not my thing.
Speaker A:She had this silly oversized beret that I thought was an occasional fashion choice, but it turned out to be a personality piece that she wore all the time.
Speaker A:I could see me break it up with someone over that.
Speaker A:It's funny how you fixate on something and it just gets under your one.
Speaker A:One lady said he had his last name tattooed across his back.
Speaker A:Another said they never said thank you for anything to anyone.
Speaker A:Probably my favorite.
Speaker A:On our first date, she talked about shoes for three hours.
Speaker A:She was probably just nervous, so I booked a second date in less than 15 minutes.
Speaker A:She began talking about how amazing the shoes someone had in front of her were.
Speaker A:And I told her, yeah, things aren't gonna work out.
Speaker A:I think that's okay if, you know, if you realize that it's just a waste of time.
Speaker A:It's okay to cut things off.
Speaker A:Someone said they ruined the ending of X Files for me.
Speaker A:Spoiler alert.
Speaker A:Come on, now.
Speaker A:That is.
Speaker A:That is not acceptable.
Speaker A:Don't be ruining the end of shows, one lady said.
Speaker A:And I could see this being a big one.
Speaker A:He always peed on my toilet and all around it.
Speaker A:Come on, fellas.
Speaker A:Let's do a little better job aiming, please.
Speaker A:Baby talk.
Speaker A:I hate baby talk.
Speaker A:I'm an adult.
Speaker A:Speak to me like an adult.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, Google.
Speaker A:Oh, who's.
Speaker A:Who's ready to go out for a date?
Speaker A:She.
Speaker A:Someone said she did not want me to get a phone case with Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air on it.
Speaker A:And I realized that she did not share my sense of whimsy and fun.
Speaker A:So there you go.
Speaker A:Some reasons that people on the Internet say that they have legitimately broken up.
Speaker A:Well, some petty reasons they've broken up with people.
Speaker A:Now that we've heard those, let's look at some things that seem petty, but in our opinions, completely legitimate.
Speaker A:Best way to start your day.
Speaker A:These six jokes he's about to say.
Speaker A:Listen up for Old Haystack.
Speaker A:Crack open the morning six pack.
Speaker A:Here we go.
Speaker A:The top six reasons to dump somebody that seems petty at first, but actually legit.
Speaker A:Number 6.
Speaker A:They didn't notice your new bangs.
Speaker A:How dare they.
Speaker A:5.
Speaker A:They squeak when they sneeze.
Speaker A:I had a buddy that broke off with a girl because of that.
Speaker A:I had to throw that in for him.
Speaker A:I thought it was adorable.
Speaker A:It was cute.
Speaker A:Number four.
Speaker A:Their name is Xander.
Speaker A:Number three, they think Olive Garden is authentic Italian or Taco Bell is authentic Mexican.
Speaker A:I think it's fair to throw that one in there.
Speaker A:Worth breaking up with someone over.
Speaker A:If either of those is true, just dump them now.
Speaker A:Done.
Speaker A:Where are we at?
Speaker A:Number two.
Speaker A:They ask for favors in the bedroom in a baby voice.
Speaker A:Oh, it's weird if you do that.
Speaker A:Stop.
Speaker A:And the number one reason to dump somebody that seems petty but is completely legitimate in our opinion, they are a Texas Longhorns fan.
Speaker A:To Texas.
