Episode 329
Morning 6-Pack - Time Capsule Treasures: What'd We Put in?
Yo, guess what? We’re spillin’ the tea on America’s shiny new time capsule, which is a whopping 900 pounds of stainless steel magic set to chill in Philly ’til 2276! 🎉 Like, can you believe they got top scientists to whip this bad boy up? It’s basically a waterproof vault for all the state goodies, and Arkansas sent a diamond! 💎 But hold onto your snacks, ‘cause we’re also droppin’ our "Morning 6-Pack" list of the top six things that should totally join the time capsule. Spoiler alert: Taco Bell’s cheesy gordita crunch is making the cut (and it’s gonna be perfect in 250 years, trust me)! And don’t forget about Axe body spray—gotta leave something for those future douchers, right? 😂 So, buckle up and let’s dive into some giggles and wild ideas!
Takeaways:
- America's new time capsule is a 900-pound stainless steel cylinder buried for 250 years!
- Each state sent something wild to represent them, like Arkansas's diamond and California's AI prediction!
- Forget digital tech, we're burying a huge metal box! Future peeps will be like, 'Whaaaat?!'
- Top six things for the time capsule: a bag of bags, a cheesy gordita crunch, and Axe body spray!
- In 250 years, future folks will totally appreciate crocs as the new American symbol!
- We've got to save some Axe body spray for future generations of clueless dudes!
Transcript
Good morning, I'm Haystack.
Speaker A:And details have been revealed about America's time capsule.
Speaker A: and left there until the year: Speaker A:And they had these top scientists at the National Institute of Standards and Technology design this thing.
Speaker A:It's pretty, pretty fascinating because most historical time capsules fail as water seeps in and rots everything.
Speaker A:So this thing is a massive steel bell jar going over it.
Speaker A:So Philadelphia would have to be completely underwater for decades, more than likely for this thing to ever leak.
Speaker A:The best part of it though, is that each individual state chose to put things inside to represent each state.
Speaker A:Arkansas, of course, sent a diamond.
Speaker A:Arizona used nanotechnology to etch the constitution onto a coin.
Speaker A:One of the most odd ones, of course, came from California, where they asked an AI chatbot to predict what the state of California will look like in 250 years and then printed out the response.
Speaker A:The AI prediction was that highways will be gone, grizzly bears will rule the woods, and California will have seceded to form something called the Pacific Federation.
Speaker A:Hmm.
Speaker A:West Virginia sent a piece of coal carved into the shape of West Virginia, which is the exact level of creativity you would expect from West Virginia.
Speaker A:It's wild that with all our modern digital technology, though, we're relying on burying this huge metal box in the dirt to pass messages on to the future.
Speaker A:Although to be fair, I can think of at least six things that should be in America's new time capsule.
Speaker B:Well, gather round folks.
Speaker B:It's the time of day when we laugh and smile in a light hearted way.
Speaker B:Tune in for the giggles and let's kick back.
Speaker B:Here comes the fun.
Speaker B:It's the morning six pack.
Speaker A:The top six things that should be in America's new time capsule.
Speaker A:Coming in at number six, a giant stack of of the bag of bags from underneath the kitchen sink.
Speaker A:Every household has a designated hoard, a designated bag of bags.
Speaker A:We should put a huge bag of bags in there.
Speaker A:Number five, a cheesy gordita crunch from Taco Bell.
Speaker A:Trust me, that thing's gonna keep for another 250 years.
Speaker A:Number four, Kevin Hart.
Speaker A:Because A, he's a national treasure and B, B, he'll fit easily.
Speaker A:Three crocs.
Speaker A:Nothing against the bald eagle, but the true symbol of America, crocs2ozempic.
Speaker A:Trust me, in 250 years, Americans will still be fat.
Speaker A:And number one, the number one thing that should go in America's new time capsule.
Speaker A:Axe body spray.
Speaker A:We've got to leave something for future douchebags.
