Episode 337
Morning 6-Pack - The Goblintimate Guide to Dating: Keep It Real!
Goblintimacy is the new dating vibe, and we’re all about it! Forget the pressure of putting on your best face; it’s time to embrace your inner goblin and just be your glorious, messy self. No more hours of prep for a date that lasts minutes—show up real, flaws and all! But hey, don’t go full goblin mode without some ground rules—there are definitely things you should keep under wraps, like your love for raisins on Halloween (seriously, who does that?). Tune in as we break down the top six things to never spill on a first date, even if you’re trying to keep it goblintimate. Let’s dive into the laughter, the silliness, and all the goblin goodness!
Takeaways:
- Goblintimacy is all about ditching the pretentiousness and just being your goblin self!
- Forget fancy outfits; just show up as you are—flaws, quirks, and all, like a true goblin!
- We talked about the six things you should NEVER share on a first date. Trust me, you’ll wanna hear them!
- Being 'goblintimate' helps filter out the wrong matches—cutting the fluff and getting real right away!
- Remember, even if you’re embracing your goblin side, a shower is still a must—goblins need hygiene too!
- We cracked jokes about the weirdest things to avoid on dates—like raising your iguana in conversation!
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker A:It's Haystack.
Speaker A:And one of the worst parts about.
Speaker B:Dating is of course spending hours preparing to only spend minutes realizing, nope, this is not the one.
Speaker B:Just completely losing interest.
Speaker B:So there's this new trend that could possibly save you some time.
Speaker B:People online are calling it goblintimacy.
Speaker B:As in goblin intimacy.
Speaker B:The idea is that instead of working your tail off to present the very best, absolute tippy top version of yourself, you just show up as a goblin.
Speaker B:No, not in a goblin costume, of course, but just essentially as is just your normal you.
Speaker B:Everyday you, for better or worse, not hiding any flaws, being upfront about your baggage from the beginning, and being as real as possible so the other person can take it or leave it.
Speaker B:It's not about laziness, although everyone's inner goblin does come out eventually.
Speaker B:So it's one way to cut to the chase and weed out people who would never ever be right for you in the long run anyway.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker B:It's still frowned upon to be lazy, right?
Speaker B:Like one, the big key is not to come across as low effort.
Speaker B:You want to be authentic.
Speaker B:You're not trying to be disrespectful.
Speaker B:You still need to clean up, take a shower.
Speaker B:Just don't, you know, don't put on your finest clothes.
Speaker B:Don't be on your best behavior.
Speaker B:Be on your Monday through Thursday behavior.
Speaker B:It's more about reducing friction for the first date and not over curating yourself so that you're kind of investing in a way in real intimacy.
Speaker B:You're really getting to know that person and they're getting to know you.
Speaker B:Now, that being said, if you're going to go on a date, even if you're going to be goblintimate, there are.
Speaker A:At least six things you should probably not share about yourself.
Speaker C:Best way to start your day, these six jokes he's about to say.
Speaker C:Listen up for old hates.
Speaker A:The top six things you should never share about yourself on your date, even if you're being goblintimate.
Speaker A:Number six, I prefer Pepsi to coke.
Speaker B:Oh yeah, deal breaker right there.
Speaker A:Number five, I give out raisins for Halloween, you monster.
Speaker A:Number four, my favorite avenger is Hawkeye.
Speaker A:Yeah, don't ever share that.
Speaker A:Don't you keep that one in.
Speaker A:Number three, I have a freezer full of pizza rolls.
Speaker A:Number two, I don't go anywhere without my companion iguana.
Speaker A:And the number one thing you should never share about yourself on a first date, even if you're doing the goblintimate.
Speaker B:Thing, I like to talk dirty.
Speaker B:Don't do my dirty talking to baby voice.
