Episode 596
Morning 6-Pack - Signs You're Shopping at a Bad Grocery Store
Lowell’s getting a new Walmart Neighborhood Market and I’m weirdly pumped — my studios moved there, I work there now, so this hits different. Folks on Facebook are already crying for Costco or Trader Joe’s, but I’m over here like, more grocery options = less hanger, amirite? The city’s booming — planners say ~12K now, 14K by 2030 and 28K by 2050 — and yeah, more traffic and roundabouts are coming with it. To celebrate, I smashed out a Morning 6-Pack: the top six signs you’re shopping at a bad grocery store — quick, snarky, and kinda gross. Expect PA announcements gone wild, a creepy carpet-cleaner tale, cucumbers accidentally shelved by the sex-toy aisle, and a bunch of other dumb reasons to shop smarter — I’m saving the No. 1 punchline for the show.
Takeaways:
- I'm pumped a new Walmart Neighborhood Market is coming to Lowell, and I now work in Lowell.
- Lots of locals have mixed feelings—some are demanding Costco or Trader Joe's instead, others welcome another grocery option.
- Lowell's population is projected to grow by 2030 and 2050, and I honestly think it'll explode even faster.
- I count the Morning 6-Pack top six signs of a bad grocery store: PA mishaps, a carpet cleaner with dried blood, and a manager shrugging off E. coli.
- Examples from the list include cucumbers stuck next to a section labeled 'organic sex toys' and sarcastic PA announcements about reusable bags.
Transcript
It's Haystack.
Speaker A:And I've got to admit, I'm.
Speaker A:I'm pretty excited.
Speaker A:We are getting a new Walmart neighborhood market in Lowell.
Speaker A:And I'm really excited now that our radio stations, our studios are in Lowell.
Speaker A:I work in Lowell now.
Speaker A:I've worked in Fayetteville for 20 years, but now it's Lowell.
Speaker A:And so it's.
Speaker A:It's going in at Spring Creek Road and West Monroe Avenue.
Speaker A:And apparently not everyone shares my enthusiasm about this development.
Speaker A:I've been trolling posts on Facebook and people are.
Speaker A:I mean, some are happy about another grocery option, but of course, a lot of people are saying another Walmart, and a lot of people demanding a Costco or a Trader Joe's instead.
Speaker A:Yeah, good luck with that.
Speaker A:But one person pointed out there's already a Harps nearby, which is, of course true.
Speaker A:And we've seen Walmart set up near a Harps countless times.
Speaker A:Others are saying that the east side of Lowell needs a grocery store a whole lot more.
Speaker A:And that's definitely a fair point.
Speaker A:I agree with that 1,000%.
Speaker A:But Lowell is about to explode.
Speaker A: by: Speaker A:And I would say it's going to be much more than that.
Speaker A: by: Speaker A:That's a.
Speaker A:It's about two and a half times in 25 years.
Speaker A:Again, I think it's going to be a lot more and a lot faster than those particular projections.
Speaker A:Lowell, you know, forever was that little town that you drove through on your way from Springdale to Rogers.
Speaker A:And now Lowell is kind of becoming a destination of its own.
Speaker A:And of course, all these new people means there's going to be more traffic and more construction and probably, yes, more roundabouts, too.
Speaker A:But hey, I'm all for having more grocery shopping options, because as much as we complain about Walmart, you gotta admit, there are a lot worse places to buy groceries.
Speaker A:In fact, I have put together a list of the top six signs that you're shopping at a bad grocery store.
Speaker B:Best way to start your day, these six jokes.
Speaker B:He's about to say, listen up for old Haystack.
Speaker B:Crack open the morning six pack.
Speaker A:Yeah, here we go.
Speaker A:These are gonna be the.
Speaker A:The top six signs that you're shopping at a bad grocery store.
Speaker A:Coming in at number 6, over the P.A.
Speaker A:You hear, clean up on aisle 5, 8, 7, 11.
Speaker A:In my pants, number 5.
Speaker A:The carpet cleaner you rented there has dried blood all over it from the last person.
Speaker A:Number four, you overhear the manager saying, e Coli, shmee coli.
Speaker A:If a vendor is giving us 100 pounds of hot dogs for a dollar, I'd be insane to pass that up.
Speaker A:Number three, the cucumbers are in a section marked organic sex toys.
Speaker A:Number two, when you hand them reusable bags, they get on the PA and they sarcastically announce, attention shoppers, we have a customer here who just single handedly ended global warming.
Speaker A:And the number one sign that you're at a bad grocery store.
Speaker A:You can afford the beef.
