Episode 15
Morning 6-Pack - Are You Old Yet? Let's Find Out!
Kickstart your morning with a hilarious adventure as Haystack broadcasts live from a Slim Chickens drive-thru in Fayetteville, where he's camping out with his buddy Dustin for free food! Yep, they're not even first in line—shoutout to Karen for that prestigious title! While waiting for those crispy Slims, Haystack dives into a cheeky survey about when folks think they officially become 'old.' Turns out, Gen Z thinks 35 is the new 'over the hill'—yikes! And let’s not forget those wild fears about aging: health issues, financial woes, and apparently, a dramatic drop in, uh, romantic activities post-40. But don’t fret! Haystack’s here to lighten the mood with a ‘Morning 6-Pack’ countdown of the top signs you’re officially old, no matter your age. Spoiler alert: if you know your doctor’s name or have a pickleball injury, you might just be closer to the old folks' club than you think! Tune in for laughs, puns, and a whole lot of relatable banter that’ll have you chuckling all morning long!
Takeaways:
- Haystack is rocking the morning show live from a Slim Chickens drive-thru, people!
- Did you know Gen Z thinks you're old at 35? Talk about a rude awakening!
- A top sign of aging? That ear hair is starting to look like a bush—yikes!
- If you can recall the last time the Razorbacks snagged a championship, congrats, you're officially old!
- Half of Gen Z fears declining health while millennials are worried about money—welcome to adulthood!
- If your iPhone font is larger than your dreams, it might be time to face the music!
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker A:It's Haystack.
Speaker A:I am actually coming to you from the drive thru of a Slim Chickens in Fayetteville, where later this morning they're gonna give the first 50 guests free slims for a year.
Speaker A:So my buddy Dustin and I have been camping out since 8pm last night.
Speaker A:And we're not first in line.
Speaker A:No, Karen was first in line at 7 o'.
Speaker A:Clock.
Speaker A:Apparently we're here since 8 last night and just goofing off, having fun.
Speaker A:And I said, I got to do a show.
Speaker A:I'll take the mobile rig.
Speaker A:And so here you go.
Speaker A:You're getting a morning show from a drive through.
Speaker A:That's what's happening this morning.
Speaker A:There's a new survey asking people, at what age do you think that someone officially becomes old?
Speaker A:And if you're older than about 30, you may feel old when I tell you the results.
Speaker A:So it obviously depends on who you ask about.
Speaker A:At what age are you old?
Speaker A:If you look at Gen Z, those are people who are in their late teens through their late 20s.
Speaker A:The oldest members of Gen Z are, you know, 27, 28 years old.
Speaker A:22% of Gen Z say that you're over the hill if you're 35.
Speaker A:When you hit 35, you become old.
Speaker A:And some of those folks are in their late 20s.
Speaker A:So I guess maybe they've already got some gray hairs or something.
Speaker A:Obviously, the older you get, the bigger that number gets.
Speaker A:So millennials.
Speaker A:15% of millennials say that 35 years old is old.
Speaker A:They, of course, they did not ask older adults, but I would assume that, you know, 0% of baby boomers thought so.
Speaker A:Some other stats from the survey, 50% of Gen Z and 62% of millennials say that declining health is their number one fear when it comes to getting older.
Speaker A:The second biggest fear for Gen Z not achieving enough.
Speaker A:The second biggest fear for millennials is financial insecurity.
Speaker A:47% of Gen Z cringe at those who party regularly into their 30s.
Speaker A:49% of millennials judge those over 30 for living with their parents.
Speaker A:73% of Gen Z and the millennials are optimistic that their best years are ahead of them.
Speaker A:I think that's really sweet and proof that both generations are crazy because it only gets worse from here.
Speaker A:Not necessarily.
Speaker A:I kid, I kid.
Speaker A:And this may be the scariest stat of all.
Speaker A:9% of Gen Z think that people completely stop making whoopee, knocking boots, doing the horizontal polka at the age of 40.
Speaker A:So, yeah, there you go.
Speaker A:Now, when it comes to how old is too old, I think that you're probably old when you can relate to anything that is on today's list.
Speaker A:Yeah, we're doing them.
Speaker A:We're doing a morning six pack live on the road.
Speaker A:These are the top six ways to know that you're officially old, no matter what age you are.
Speaker B:Best way to start your day.
Speaker B:These six jokes he's about to say, listen up for old hay stack to crack open the morning six pack.
Speaker A:These are the top six ways to know you're officially old, no matter what age you are.
Speaker A:Number six, the hair on the top of your ear is longer than the hair on the top of your head.
Speaker A:Number five, you attend school board meetings.
Speaker A:Number four, you have a pickleball injury.
Speaker A:Number three, you have enlarged your iPhone font.
Speaker A:Number two, you know your primary care physician's first name.
Speaker A:Hello, Annelise.
Speaker A:How are you?
Speaker A:And the number one way to know that you're officially old, no matter what age you are.
Speaker A:You can remember the last time the Arkansas Razorbacks won a national title in a major sport.
