Episode 504
Morning 6-Pack - 6 Signs We're Totally Pumpkin Spice Obsessed
Pumpkin spice has officially taken over American life — for real, it’s everywhere and I’m low-key terrified. On today’s Morning 6-Pack we count down the top six signs you’re way too obsessed with pumpkin spice, and trust me, the list gets delightfully ridiculous. We roast stuff like the actual pumpkin spice casket (yep, they made one — slogan: “Latte season doesn’t have to end when you do”), and we riff on people’s reactions online — grandma blocking the sender included. We also hit a few wild entries, like slapping pumpkin spice on kids’ boo-boos or shelling out extra for pumpkin spice…stuff. I keep it fast, snarky, and stupid-fun, and I’m not giving away the number-one sign — you’ll have to listen for that mic drop.
Takeaways:
- We roast the pumpkin spice takeover, including a ridiculous pumpkin spice casket advertised for $15.99.
- I mock the dark slogan 'Latte season doesn't have to end when you do' and cringe-laugh at that.
- We read online reactions — jokes about 'pre-seasoned' coffins, cremation quips, and granny blocking senders.
- The Morning 6-Pack hits six signs you're obsessed with pumpkin spice, including absurd holiday mashups.
- Highlights from the countdown include goofy entries like rubbing pumpkin spice on kids and naming triplets Pump Ken and Spice.
Transcript
Its haystack.
Speaker A:And Pumpkin spice has officially completed its takeover of American life.
Speaker A:This is absolutely ridiculous.
Speaker A:I look, I get coffee, obviously.
Speaker A:Candles, yeah, of course.
Speaker A:Cereal, sure.
Speaker A:Dog treats.
Speaker A:And let's be honest, we lost that battle years ago.
Speaker A:But now you can get a pumpkin spice casket for the low, low price of 15.99.
Speaker A:And before you get too excited, no, it does not smell like pumpkin spice, nor does it taste like pumpkin spice.
Speaker A:Please do not test that.
Speaker A:By the way.
Speaker A:It's just basically an orange casket with a seasonal name, which kind of makes it funnier.
Speaker A:They looked at an orange coffin and said, you know, you know what this needs?
Speaker A:Some.
Speaker A:Some fall branding.
Speaker A:Their slogan is basically pumpkin spice.
Speaker A:Latte season doesn't have to end when you do.
Speaker A:Which is dark.
Speaker A:That is dark.
Speaker A:Although it is efficient.
Speaker A:That is.
Speaker A:That is marketing refusing to respect a boundary.
Speaker A:And people online are loving it.
Speaker A:One person asked if it comes pre seasoned.
Speaker A:Another said it might change their mind about cremation.
Speaker A:And another said they sent it to grandma and grandma blocked them online.
Speaker A:That's fair.
Speaker A:That's fair.
Speaker A:If you send your grandmother a pumpkin spice casket ad, you're not sharing fall vibes.
Speaker A:You're testing the inheritance.
Speaker A:But if this sounds like something that you would buy and bury Nana in, then you should add that to today's list of the top six signs you're obsessed with pumpkin spice.
Speaker B:Well, gather round, folks.
Speaker B:It's the time of day when we laugh and smile in a light hearted way.
Speaker B:Tune in for the giggles and let's kick back.
Speaker B:Here comes the fun.
Speaker B:It's the morning six pack again.
Speaker A:These are the top six pack signs that you're way too obsessed with pumpkin spice.
Speaker A:Coming in at number six, when your kids get hurt, your response is rub some pumpkin spice on it.
Speaker A:Number five, you pay your dealer extra for pumpkin spice meth.
Speaker A:Number four, your favorite book is Harry Potter and the goblet of Pumpkin spice.
Speaker A:Number three, you named your triplets Pump Ken and Spice.
Speaker A:Number two, you never ever miss an episode of Vander.
Speaker A:Pumpkin spice rules.
Speaker A:The the number one sign that you are obsessed with pumpkin spice.
Speaker A:You already know what, you'll spend your $5,000 Trump dividend on a vacation.
Speaker A:No, I'm getting more pumpkin spice.
