Episode 535
If Archie Says 'Ice Cream Machine's Down,' It's Basically Human
McDonald's is spending $8.5 billion on a remodel and they're rolling out an AI drive‑thru called "Archie" to take orders, upsell you, and supposedly make sure your food actually ends up in the bag. They tried this with IBM a few years back and parked it, but now Archie’s back after what they jokingly call "remedial cheeseburger training." I'm skeptical — if Archie can reliably get my fries right and announce "the ice cream machine is down," then maybe it's officially human. I even snagged early test clips and they're a riot: Archie ID'ing a 1997 Kia Sportage, sniffing out a cannabis smell, and cheerfully recommending dollar‑menu ketchup like your overeager friend. We joke about the future of fast food, the one exhausted 17‑year‑old still manning the line, and whether a robot can do the classic "you forgot my fries" hustle better than a person. Listen for the clips — I saved the best punchlines for the audio.
Takeaways:
- We riff on McDonald's $8.5 billion makeover and their plan to bring AI back to the drive-thru.
- I joke that Archie — McDonald's new AI drive-thru voice — will upsell you fries and maybe actually put them in the bag.
- We remind y'all they tried AI with IBM before and pulled back because it wasn't ready yet.
- I play early test clips where Archie gets weird — sniffs cars, suggests Whole Foods for salad orders, and clowns around.
- We poke fun at AI becoming 'human' only when it starts blaming the ice cream machine being down like a real worker.
Transcript
It's haystack.
Speaker A:And we're hearing about this $8.5 billion renovation happening at McDonald's.
Speaker A:And apparently part of that is they're set to try AI at the drive thru again.
Speaker A:They already tried this a few years ago.
Speaker A:They teamed up with IBM and then they decided it wasn't ready.
Speaker A:But apparently AI has now completed remedial cheeseburger training.
Speaker A:The new AI system is being called Archie.
Speaker A:And they say Archie can take your order, suggest extra items, and supposedly even help make sure everything actually ends up in the bag.
Speaker A:And that last part is pretty ambitious because forget artificial intelligence.
Speaker A:If Archie can make sure that I got the fries I paid for, it's already passed the touring test.
Speaker A:Again, part of an $8.5 billion modernization plan over at Mickey D's.
Speaker A:So the the future of fast food, maybe you pull up, the robot takes your order, the AI recommends your McFlurry.
Speaker A:Another computer looks at the inventory, a kiosk takes your money.
Speaker A:Somewhere in that building there's a single exhausted 17 year old still responsible for doing a bunch of it.
Speaker A:Though the company says that Archie can function almost like any other employee.
Speaker A:So does.
Speaker A:Does Archie eventually say, sorry, the ice cream machine is down?
Speaker A:Because if it does, that's when we will know that the AI has truly become human.
Speaker A:All kidding aside, though, I've actually been able to acquire some recordings from the early tests of this Archie AI ordering system.
Speaker A:And I gotta be honest, it sounds pretty similar to a typical Visit at a McDonald's today.
Speaker B:Welcome to McDonald's Artificial Intelligence Drive through.
Speaker B:I will customize your food options with my algorithmic sensory receptors.
Speaker A:I would like a double quarter pounder.
Speaker B:Excuse me, sir.
Speaker B: I see see you're driving a: Speaker B:May I suggest something from the dollar menu or some free ketchup packets?
Speaker B:Welcome to McDonald's Artificial Intelligence Drive thru.
Speaker C:Hey, I'd like.
Speaker B:I am detecting a cannabis odor from your vehicle.
Speaker B:How about an egg McMuffin McRib cheesy bacon fries, McFlurry snack wrap combo?
Speaker C:Thanks, robot.
Speaker C:Dude, that sounds lit.
Speaker C:Can I get some barbecue sauce?
Speaker B:Welcome to McDonald's A.I.
Speaker B:I want a Southwest grilled chicken salad and also salad.
Speaker B:Does not compute.
Speaker B:Who orders a salad from McDonald's?
Speaker B:Please use these GPS coordinates to drive to the nearest Whole Foods.
