Episode 184
Alabama Bama on Surviving Airport Lines with Style!
Alabama Bama’s back and she’s dishing out the laughs as we dive into the wild world of airport lines! Can you believe some folks are standing around for THREE hours just to get through security? Psh, amateur hour! Bama's got her own epic story of waiting SIX hours just to snag a signature from Guy Fieri on her... well, let’s just say it was a unique location. We’re talking about Bama's wild game of “who’s got priors?” that she plays while waiting in line—spoiler alert: it's as hilarious as it sounds! And, of course, she’s got plans to keep an eye on those TSA folks 'cause you never know when they’ll try to swoop in on her pole-dancing gig at the Velvet Tractor. Buckle up, folks, it's gonna be a fun ride!
Takeaways:
- Alabama Bama shares her wild airport line experience, waiting six hours just for Guy Fieri's autograph on her cleavage! Talk about dedication, right?
- We dive into Bama's hilarious game called 'Who's Got Priors?' where she guesses people's shady pasts in line; it’s like a fun reality show!
- Bama's got a nose for trouble—she claims a 97% accuracy rate profiling fellow line waiters. Is that scientific? Nah, but who needs science when you've got intuition?
- Our gal Bama is on a mission to protect her pole position at the Velvet Tractor from TSA agents—seriously, is there anything funnier than this?
- From airport chaos to county fair bingo, Bama's life is one big laugh fest, proving everyday moments can be filled with unexpected hilarity!
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker A:It's Haystack, and it's time for what's essentially my favorite time of the week, because I get to chat with a dear old friend of mine, my long lost friend from rural Alabama.
Speaker A:Bama joins us on the phone now.
Speaker A:And, Bama, have you seen these airport lines?
Speaker A:Now, we're pretty lucky.
Speaker A:It hadn't got quite that out of hand at XNA yet.
Speaker A:But at some airports, people are standing in line for three hours just to get through airport security.
Speaker B:Oh, shoot, Haystack, it ain't nothing.
Speaker B:One time, I waited in line for six hours just to get Guy Fieri to sign my cleavage.
Speaker A:Wait a minute.
Speaker A:Six hours?
Speaker A:Now, that's commitment.
Speaker B:When you got a dream, you hydrate and you stay planted.
Speaker B:And I made the most of it, too.
Speaker B:In long lines, I play this little game I invented.
Speaker B:It's called who's got priors?
Speaker A:Oh, no.
Speaker A:I'm.
Speaker A:I'm almost afraid to ask how that works.
Speaker B:Oh, I just look all over the crowd, and guess who's got a record?
Speaker B:Who's running a pyramid schem?
Speaker B:Who's got an ankle monitor tucked up underneath him?
Speaker B:Boot cut jeans?
Speaker B:And I'm telling you, I got about a 97% accuracy rate.
Speaker A:Now, Bama, that cannot be scientific.
Speaker B:Well, I think I can just smell my own kind, sugar.
Speaker A:I don't.
Speaker A:I don't think that's how profiling should work.
Speaker B:Well, it worked at the county fair bingo night, and it worked outside the courthouse, so I trust the process.
Speaker A:So, Bama, what's your.
Speaker A:What's your plan today?
Speaker B:Well, I gots to go.
Speaker B:With all these TSA folks looking for work.
Speaker B:I need to make sure that none of them are trying to take my spot on the pole at the Velvet Tractor.
Speaker A:Oh, goodness.
Speaker A:That sentence had way too many surprises in it.
Speaker B:Survival of the fittest.
Speaker B:Haystack, we'll talk to you later.
Speaker B:Have a great day.
