Episode 93
Alabama Bama on How to Keep 300ft from Your Ex at Dinner!
Alabama Bama's gettin' ready for Thanksgiving, and let me tell ya, it’s a whole circus over there! 🤡 She's stressin' harder than a chihuahua at a fireworks show, mainly 'cause she invited her fifth ex-hubby to dinner, but guess what? That restraining order is still on! 😂 Can you imagine trying to keep 300 feet away at an eight-foot table? Classic Bama! And as if that wasn't enough, she was all set to get her guests lit on Fireball, but three of 'em are now on the sober train. 🚂 Bama's takin' it all in stride, saying, “Diversity is beautiful!” But let’s be real, she’s gonna need a little liquid courage to handle Uncle Dale’s conspiracy theories! So grab your snacks and join us for some Thanksgiving chaos and laughs with Alabama Bama! 🦃✨ Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and you know what that means—Bama is back with her fabulous tales of holiday chaos! This time, she’s in a pickle because she invited her fifth ex-husband to dinner, and let’s just say, restraining orders are a real buzzkill when it comes to family reunions. Imagine trying to enjoy turkey with an ex lurking in the shadows, staying 300 feet away at an 8-foot table! It’s a Thanksgiving circus, and Bama is the ringmaster of ridiculousness, trying to keep it together while dodging awkward family moments like Uncle Dale’s conspiracy theories. But wait, there’s more! Bama’s guests are all about that sober life now, which puts a real damper on her Fireball plans. What’s Thanksgiving without a little cinnamon-flavored gasoline to keep the good vibes rolling? Bama’s got the perfect perspective: diversity is beautiful! Some people choose sobriety, while others just wanna get lit enough to survive family drama. It’s a hilarious dive into the holiday madness, and trust me, you don’t wanna miss Bama’s unique take on keeping it real during the most stressful time of the year. So, grab your snacks and tune in for some laughs that might just help you cope with your own Thanksgiving shenanigans!
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker A:It's Haystack.
Speaker A:It's about my favorite time of the week when we check in with my dear old friend Bama down in rural Alabama.
Speaker A:And Bama, Thanksgiving is gonna be here before you know it.
Speaker A:How are you holding up, doll?
Speaker B:Oh, hey, Stack.
Speaker B:I'm more stressed out than a chihuahua at a fireworks show.
Speaker B:I swear, every year it's a new circus, but just with better snacks.
Speaker A:Oh no, Bama, what's wrong this time?
Speaker B:Well, you see, I invited my fifth ex husband to dinner, but apparently that restraining order he took out on me is still active.
Speaker B:So now I gots to figure out how to stay 300ft away at an eight foot table.
Speaker A:That sounds.
Speaker A:That sounds legally complicated.
Speaker B:Tell me about it.
Speaker B:And on top of that, I was planning to get all my guests lit on Fireball, but now three different people done told me that they're sober, curious.
Speaker A:Oh, well, that's actually kind of nice.
Speaker A:They're trying to be healthy.
Speaker B:Stupid crap.
Speaker B:But hey, I'm a supporting woman, Haystack.
Speaker B:Diversity is beautiful.
Speaker B:Some people choose sobriety and some people choose cinnamon flavored gasoline.
Speaker A:Okay, well, that's one way to put it.
Speaker B:I mean, you do you, but I ain't sitting through Uncle Dale's conspiracy theories without a little antifreeze in my bloodstream.
Speaker A:Well, I don't guess I could argue with that logic.
Speaker B:All right, y', all, I gotta go.
Speaker B:If I'm gonna survive this Thanksgiving, I need to make sure my heart is full of gratitud and my cartons are full of cigarettes.
Speaker A:You know, that is the most Bama version of self care I think I've ever heard.
Speaker B:It's all about balance, sugar.
Speaker B:Happy Thanksgiving, y'.
Speaker A:All.
