Episode 83
Alabama Bama on Government Shutdown Shenanigans!
Alabama Bama's back and she’s got some wild thoughts on the government shutdown! Turns out, she was ready for a big ol’ homecoming barbecue, only to find out the feds aren’t releasing her crew anytime soon—bummer, right? But don’t fret, folks! She’s turning lemons into lemonade (or maybe wine coolers) because her meeting with the parole officer got the boot! Now she’s free to hit up the raucous sausage tasting at Dollar General—classy, right? And just wait till you hear her epic plan to become an air traffic controller… Yeah, that’s gonna be a sight! So grab your snacks and tune in for some serious laughs with Haystack and Alabama Bama! Rise and shine, fellow snack lovers! This time around, we’re diving into the wild world of governmental shenanigans and the glorious chaos that is Bama's life. Our girl Bama, fresh from the heart of rural Alabama, thinks she’s hit the jackpot with the whole government shutdown thing. Picture her, happier than a possum in a Panera dumpster, dreaming of a homecoming barbecue with all her pals getting sprung from the pen. But hold up! Turns out keeping those rascals behind bars is considered an 'essential service.' Who knew? Bama’s BBQ plans might just be BBQ'd themselves! But not to worry, because Bama finds the silver lining—her meeting with her parole officer got canceled! Time to mix it up at a wine cooler and sausage tasting down at the local Dollar General. Nothing says fancy like off-brand Slim Jims and a solo cup, right? As Bama lays down her plans, you can practically hear the laughter echoing through the airwaves. Just wait until she tells us about her secret ambition to be a temporary air traffic controller. Spoiler alert: it involves zero depth perception and some questionable hand signals. Buckle up, folks, it's a bumpy ride with Bama!
Transcript
Good morning, it's Haystack.
Speaker A:It's one of my favorite times of the week when we get to chat with my dear old friend Bama, who lives down in rural Alabama.
Speaker A:And Bama's joining us on the phone now.
Speaker A:And Bama, everybody's been talking about this government shutdown mess.
Speaker A:Have you been keeping up with any of it?
Speaker B:Well, hey, Stack, I thought I had it all figured out.
Speaker B:I was happier than a possum in a Panera dumpster, thinking it might mean the federal penitentiaries would close down and a whole buttload of my friends and family would get released.
Speaker A:But.
Speaker B:But no.
Speaker B:Apparently keeping criminals in the pen is an essential service.
Speaker B:I roll.
Speaker A:Yeah, it turns out they keep that part running no matter what.
Speaker B:Yeah, I learned that the hard way.
Speaker B:I had a whole homecoming barbecue planned and everything.
Speaker A:Oh, now I'm almost afraid to ask what kind of a homecoming barbecue?
Speaker B:Oh, don't worry, Haystack.
Speaker B:We only had one generator fire.
Speaker B:But there is a silver lining.
Speaker B:My meeting with my par patrol officer got canceled.
Speaker B:So now I could finally go to that wine cooler slash sausage tasting that they've been doing after hours down at the Dollar General.
Speaker A:Oh, well, that sounds safe.
Speaker B:Oh, it is fancy, Haystack.
Speaker B:They got Spoons Farm and Solo cups and all them off brand Slim Jims that you can eat.
Speaker A:Please tell me that all the off brand Slim Jims you can eat is not their slogan.
Speaker B:Well, it could be.
Speaker B:Anyway, I gots to go.
Speaker B:I need to check on my application to be a temporary air traffic controller.
Speaker B:You would think I'd be a shoo in.
Speaker B:I got a great hand signals and zero depth perception.
Speaker A:Obama, I am begging you, please don't apply for that job.
Speaker B:Oh, it's too late, Haystack.
Speaker B:If y' all see planes a circling over Benton county, that's just me a practicing.
