Episode 175
The Pizza Personality Test: Are You a Meathead? 🤷♂️🍕
So, get this: your pizza order might just be the ultimate judgment call in the dating game! Yup, we’re diving into the wild world of how your meat-laden slice can spill the beans on your emotional baggage. 🍕💔 We’re talkin’ TikTok trends where a woman’s peep at your pizza toppings reveals if you’ve got unresolved issues. I mean, who knew extra pepperoni could be a red flag? 😂 Plus, we’re laughing about how dating now feels like an interview, complete with pizza preferences and ethical dilemmas over the last slice. Join us as we unpack this hilarious pizza psychology and maybe even figure out why I’m still single (spoiler: it’s my meat pizza!). Let’s slice into it!
Takeaways:
- Did you know your pizza order could totally be the key to your dating life?
- We're out of judgment, so now pizza toppings are like a psychological test!
- Ordering extra meat on your pizza? That screams unresolved emotional issues, my friend!
- Imagine getting ghosted because your pizza choice revealed your inner alpha male!
- Pizza has officially been upgraded to a personality trait – who knew?
- We might need pizza filters on dating apps soon. Swipe right if they like pepperoni!
Transcript
It turns out that eating meat is toxic and your pizza order is part of your dating profile.
Speaker A:We have officially run out of things to judge each other on, so we're opening a pizza box like it's a psychological evaluation.
Speaker A:And by we, I mean women.
Speaker A:On TikTok, a woman looks at your order, says, hmm, extra pepperoni, sausage, bacon, ham.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:You have unresolved emotional issues.
Speaker A:Can you imagine getting rejected not because of your actual personality, but because Marley's pizza just snitched on you?
Speaker A:I mean, yeah, he seemed nice, but then he ordered a meat pizza and I thought, this guy has definitely said alpha male out loud.
Speaker A:That's where we're at now.
Speaker A:Pizza is a personality trait.
Speaker A:Here is a portion of just one of the videos making the rounds.
Speaker A:One of the viral videos on TikTok.
Speaker B:The way that a man views vegetarianism, veganism, tofu, reflects how they view women.
Speaker B:I think that if you can't reduce your meat intake, you are selfish.
Speaker B:What do you mean?
Speaker B:You can't just have a veggie burger once in a while.
Speaker B:The world is dying.
Speaker B:Rainforests are being chopped down to make warehouses to kill animals in.
Speaker B:I had a bacon sandwich this morning, but I still feel so guilty.
Speaker B:Meat isn't that good for you.
Speaker B:The idea of not getting enough protein, that really reminds me of toxic masculinity.
Speaker A:Why is meat a character flaw?
Speaker A:It's like you're one topping on your pizza away from a therapist saying, and when did you first start adding bacon to things?
Speaker A:Can you imagine going out on a date, being on a first date?
Speaker A:She says, well, what.
Speaker A:What kind of pizza do you like?
Speaker A:And now you, this is not dinner.
Speaker A:This is an interview, which dates are.
Speaker A:But you panic because now you can't say meat pizza confidently anymore.
Speaker A:You have to try to soften it a little bit.
Speaker A:Well, I. I mean, I'll occasionally have meat on a pizza.
Speaker A:Just socially, I respect vegetarians and vegetables as well.
Speaker A:People saying that meat lovers means you don't think about sharing too.
Speaker A:I. I mean, I'm a meat guy and I offer to share my meat pizza from Marley's all the time.
Speaker A:Every friend group has that one person too, though.
Speaker A:That suddenly becomes ethical when there's one slice left.
Speaker A:Kind of ethical.
Speaker A:No, no, You.
Speaker A:You take it, but they stare at it like it's a hostage negotiation.
Speaker A:It's just so silly.
Speaker A:The world we're in now, dating apps are going to have to add pizza filters.
Speaker A:What would you like?
Speaker A:You could sort by or filter by height, by age, by dating intention, by politics, by preferred pizza toppings.
Speaker A:Maybe I should just tack this onto the list.
Speaker A:The very long list of reasons why I'm single.
Speaker A:My meat pizza.
Speaker A:If I had a penny for each item on the list, I could afford a gallon of gas.
