Episode 487
Morning 6-Pack - Top 6 fun things to do in West Virginia
Wallethub ranked Arkansas 47th on the “fun” list and I demand a damn recount — like, who thinks we’re that boring? I rant about rivers, lakes, Razorback football, Crystal Bridges, float trips and more, and how Connecticut, Delaware and Rhode Island somehow outrank us (come on). Then we flip to the Morning 6-Pack and blast through a lightning Top Six of supposedly “fun” things to do in West Virginia. We drop bits about turning roadkill into an eight-course whatever, mullet-spotting, outhouse tipping, and a state aquarium that’s basically a bathtub with a bass. It’s short, salty, and hilarious — we laugh, we mock, and we keep the best punchline under wraps so you actually have to listen.
Takeaways:
- We absolutely roast Wallethub for ranking Arkansas 47th, and I demand a damn recount, lol.
- I list tons of Arkansas joys — Ozarks hiking, Razorback football, lakes, Crystal Bridges, blues, barbecue, camping.
- We argue that fun ain't just Vegas nightlife; sometimes it's a cooler, a boat, and someone yelling, 'y'all, watch this!'.
- I mock tiny states like Delaware and Rhode Island, and I still can't believe Connecticut somehow beat us.
- We finish with a goofy West Virginia top-six bit full of trashy jokes: roadkill cuisine, mullets, outhouse tipping, bathtub aquariums.
Transcript
It's haystack.
Speaker A:And Arkansas has apparently been informed we are not fun.
Speaker A:Wallethub.
Speaker A:Whatever collection of joyless spreadsheet nerds they are responsible for this thing ranked all 50 states by how much fun they offer.
Speaker A:They claim this was based on entertainment, recreation, nightlife, attractions and other stuff.
Speaker A:California was ranked number one.
Speaker A:Florida came in second.
Speaker A:Fine, whatever.
Speaker A:I'm not even going to round out the top 10.
Speaker A:I'm going to focus on the fact that Arkansas was third from the bottom.
Speaker A:I guess it would be 47th or fourth from the bottom.
Speaker A:47Th.
Speaker A:Oh my goodness.
Speaker A:Excuse me.
Speaker A:There's only three states in America that are supposedly less fun than Arkansas.
Speaker A:So Vermont.
Speaker A:Mississippi.
Speaker A:Thank God for Mississippi, as always.
Speaker A:And West Virginia.
Speaker A:Arkansas is 47th.
Speaker A:We've got the Buffalo river, we've got the Ozarks, we've got lakes everywhere.
Speaker A:Hiking, mountain biking, fishing, hunting, camping, Razorback football, horse races, Crystal Bridges, the Walmart, amp bikes, blues and barbecue float trips, Beaver Lake, Hot Springs, Dixon Street.
Speaker A:You can literally spend Saturday morning mountain biking through the woods, Saturday afternoon drinking something out of a mason jar, and Saturday night screaming woo pig sue with 70,000 other people.
Speaker A:And you're telling me Connecticut is more fun than Arkansas?
Speaker A:What are they doing in Connecticut that we don't know about?
Speaker A:Hey, everybody, get in the car.
Speaker A:We're going to Hartford.
Speaker A:Nobody ever said that.
Speaker A:Nobody ever.
Speaker A:Delaware beat us.
Speaker A:Delaware.
Speaker A:Delaware's entire personality is companies register here for tax purposes.
Speaker A:Rhode island beat us.
Speaker A:Rhode island is so small, if you have too much fun, you accidentally end up in Massachusetts.
Speaker A:New Hampshire beat us.
Speaker A:The state motto of New Hampshire is Live free or die.
Speaker A:Which sounds less like a tourism slogan, more like somebody losing an argument at Thanksgiving.
Speaker A:Even Alabama beat Arkansas.
Speaker A:And that is where I draw the line.
Speaker A:Look, maybe Arkansas isn't Las Vegas.
Speaker A:We don't have casinos on every corner or clubs that stay open till six in the morning.
Speaker A:But maybe our definition of fun isn't standing in a velvet rope line for 45 minutes to buy $23 cocktails.
Speaker A:Sometimes fun is a boat, a lake, a cooler, a grill, or somebody saying, hey, y', all, watch this.
Speaker A:And Arkansas excels at hey, y', all, watch this.
Speaker A:47Th.
Speaker A:I demand a damn recount.
Speaker A:Although, then again, at least we didn't come in dead last like West Virginia.
Speaker A:Although surely there's at least six fun things to do in West Virginia.
Speaker B:Well, gather round, folks.
Speaker B:It's the time of day when we laugh and smile in a light hearted way.
Speaker B:Tune in for the giggles and let's kick back.
Speaker B:Here comes the fun.
Speaker B:It's the morning six pack is the.
Speaker A:Top six fun things to do in West Virginia.
Speaker A:Number six Turn roadkill into an eight course mill.
Speaker A:Number five Observe mullets in their natural habitat.
Speaker A:Number four Two words outhouse tipping.
Speaker A:Number three Indulge in some high end shopping at the dollar tree.
Speaker A:Number two Visit the state aquarium.
Speaker A:It's a bathtub with a bass in it.
Speaker A:And the number one fun thing to do in West Virginia?
Speaker A:Enjoy fine dining where the sommelier asks you Pepsi or Mountain Dew?
Speaker A:Dr. Pepper.
Speaker A:Duh.
