Episode 570
Morning 6-Pack - Little domestic joys singles totally miss
A new study tracked about 3,000 people and found 90% of singles are genuinely happy — so being single isn’t the tragedy a lot of married folks make it out to be. Still, I couldn’t resist doing the Morning 6-Pack where we count down six oddly awesome relationship perks long-term singles miss. We poke fun at stuff like putting your shampoo on the shower floor because she gets the caddy, Sunday yelling at the TV like it owes you money, and making room in the bed for her cat. It’s quick, sarcastic, and full of dumb little truths that’ll make you laugh whether you’re single, married, or just in a committed relationship with snacks. Tune in for the giggles — I’ll leave the big finale as a surprise.
Takeaways:
- I mention a decade-long study of about 3,000 people where roughly 90% reported life satisfaction.
- We laugh about single life perks — eat what you want, control the thermostat, zero fridge questions.
- I joke older singles get less hyped — staying out late at 45 = iced Hot back contortions, no lie.
- In the Morning 6-Pack we hit relationship realities like shampoo on the floor and socks mysteriously everywhere.
- We keep it goofy and sarcastic, poking fun at couple life while totally being ironically sincere sometimes.
Transcript
Good morning, it's Haystack.
Speaker A:And some massive new research out says that being single is not nearly so miserable as many married people would want to lead you to believe.
Speaker A:This new study followed about 3,000 people over the course of just over a decade and found that 90% of them were absolutely happy with their lives.
Speaker A:90%.
Speaker A:90% Is a higher satisfaction rating than most marriages.
Speaker A:Higher satisfaction than airlines get, more satisfying than trips to Walmart.
Speaker A:And it really makes sense because single people can do whatever they want.
Speaker A:They can eat whatever they want, watch whatever they want on tv.
Speaker A:Nobody asks them what they've bought.
Speaker A:Why did you buy another fishing rod?
Speaker A:Nobody's moving stuff around.
Speaker A:Nobody's standing in front of the open refrigerator saying, what are we doing for dinner?
Speaker A:Maybe most importantly, nobody is saying I'm fine in that particular tone of voice that tells you you are absolutely not fine and whatever you've done is going to cost you your entire weekend.
Speaker A:Yeah, none of that.
Speaker A:The researchers did find that people became a little less enthusiastic about being single as they get older, which is understandable.
Speaker A:At 25, being single is freedom, adventure.
Speaker A:Staying out all night at 45, it means you gotta figure out how to put icy Hot on a part of your back that you've not been able to reach since the Clinton administration.
Speaker A:But I think these researchers are overlooking and overthinking some very important benefits of being in a relationship.
Speaker A:I mean, sure, single people have freedom and independence and complete control of the thermostat, but they're missing out on some of life's greatest experiences.
Speaker B:Well, gather round folks.
Speaker B:It's the time of day when we laugh and smile in a light hearted way.
Speaker B:Tune in for the giggles and laug kick back.
Speaker B:Here comes the fun.
Speaker B:It's the morning six pack.
Speaker A:These are the top six awesome things about relationships that long term singles are missing out on.
Speaker A:Number six, putting your shampoo on the floor because she gets the shower caddy.
Speaker A:Number five, spending Sunday listening to him scream at the tv.
Speaker A:That's not pass interference.
Speaker A:Number four, making room in the bed for her cat.
Speaker A:Number three, picking up his socks from places in the house where socks are not supposed to be.
Speaker A:Number two, squeezing into the car after she borrows it because the seat is squeezed all the way up to the steering wheel.
Speaker A:And the number one awesome thing about relationships that long term singles are missing out on.
Speaker A:And these are totally genuinely awesome.
Speaker A:I'm not being sarcastic at all.
Speaker A:When you want to watch Reacher and she wants to watch Outlander, so you compromise and watch Outlander.
