Episode 325
Morning 6-Pack - Is Your Kid at Bad Summer Camp?
Alright, folks, grab your coffee and buckle up because we’re diving into the wild world of summer camp economics! 🏕️💸 You know, that moment when you realize sending your kid to camp feels more like a financial hostage situation than a fun summer getaway? Yeah, we’ve all been there! Turns out, average day camps are hitting parents for about $87 a day—yikes, that’s almost $500 a week! And if your teen’s still into camp, well, prepare to fork over even more for those fancy-schmancy specialty camps. We’re talking prices that could fund a small country! 😂 But don’t worry, I’ve got your back with the top six signs that your kid might just be at a seriously sketchy camp—like when the archery instructor is just a wannabe Hawkeye from Comic Con! So let’s crack open this Morning 6-Pack and get ready to laugh while we navigate the summer camp craziness together! 🌞🎉
Takeaways:
- Summer camp prices are like a financial hostage situation, parents beware!
- Teenagers are ditching camp for jobs, because who wants to make lanyards?
- Sending kids to summer camp can cost you an arm and a leg, and maybe a kidney!
- The signs your kid is at a bad summer camp are hilariously alarming, like archery instructors from Comic Con!
- If your kid's camp has a patch for mixology, you might want to reconsider!
- Brace yourselves, some summer camps are charging Ivy League tuition for mosquito-infested cabins!
Transcript
Good morning, Haystack.
Speaker A:We are, of course, several weeks in the summer now.
Speaker A:And if you're a parent and you're driving to work this morning, I have a question for you.
Speaker A:How's your wallet, how's your purse, how's your bank account, your credit card statement holding up?
Speaker A:Because right now, summer camp economy is in full swing.
Speaker A:And from what I can tell, it's essentially a financial hostage situation out there.
Speaker A:I was just looking at the latest national data from the American Camp Association.
Speaker A:The numbers are staggering.
Speaker A:If you send a young child to a standard local day camp, it's an average of $87 a day.
Speaker A:That's basically 500 bucks a week.
Speaker A:If we're looking at seven days a week, over $400 for just weekdays, just.
Speaker B:For daylight hours, that's a day camp.
Speaker A:And if you've got a teenager who.
Speaker A:Man, that's where the real damage happens.
Speaker A:There's this massive generational shift.
Speaker A:Once kids hit high school.
Speaker A:Traditional day camps are dead to the teenagers, dead to the high schoolers.
Speaker A:At least somewhere between 15 and 20% of teenagers will set foot in a summer camp this year.
Speaker A:And I kind of get that.
Speaker A:Can, I mean, can you imagine trying to tell a 15 year old they're spending Tuesday afternoon making lanyards and doing the chicken dance?
Speaker A:Their attitude would melt your face off.
Speaker A:Instead, about a third of high schoolers, 32%, are trading camp counselors for a boss out there working actual jobs.
Speaker A:And I, you know what?
Speaker A:Bless them.
Speaker A:Hooray.
Speaker A:Get out of the house, stop eating all the groceries by 11am Go learn what a tax deduction feels like.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker C:But.
Speaker A:And here's where the big wealth gap is obvious.
Speaker A:For the teenagers who do still go to a summer camp, they're not doing the cheap local stuff.
Speaker A:They expect to be at high end specialty programs or sports combines or classic sleepaway camps.
Speaker A:And if you've not looked at the prices, brace yourself, parents.
Speaker A:The average cost for a traditional sleepaway camp right now, $173 a day.
Speaker A:We're talking about nearly $1,000 a week.
Speaker A:For weekdays only, well over $1,000 a week, seven days a week.
Speaker A:If you send them to a specialty tech or sports camp, we could be talking $3,000 for a single session, $4,000 for four grand.
Speaker A:The kid better come home fluent and Mandarin, certified in CPR, and with a detailed plan to pay back the cost of the summer camp.
Speaker A:It's wild.
Speaker A:Literally paying Ivy League weekly tuition rates so teenagers can sleep in a cabin with no ac, get eaten alive by mosquitoes and eat mystery meat.
Speaker A:No wonder about half a parent surveyed across America said they want to send their kids off to camp this summer but can can't because of the prices.
Speaker A:Although there is always the option of just, you know, trying to send them to the cheapest camp you can find.
Speaker A:And the danger, of course, that it's a pretty bad camp.
Speaker A:If if you've done that and you're curious if your kids summer camp is bad, I'm here to help.
Speaker C:Best way to start your day these six jokes he's about to say Listen up or old heads back.
Speaker C:Crack open the morning six pack.
Speaker B:These are the top six signs that your kid is at bad summer camp.
Speaker B:6.
Speaker B:The archery instructor's only experience is cosplaying as hawkeye at Comic Con.
Speaker C:5.
Speaker B:Every single hike finishes at a backwoods meth lab.
Speaker B:Number four.
Speaker B:The arts and crafts consist of spending 10 hours a day in a warehouse assembling iPhones.
Speaker B:Number three.
Speaker A:Your daughter earned a patch in mixology.
Speaker B:Number two.
Speaker B:The website recommends packing lots of sunscreen and Kevlar.
Speaker B:Also Kevlar and the number one sign that your kid is at a bad summer camp.
Speaker A:They have seminars on bullying and body shaming, as in how to get better at bullying and body shaming.
