Episode 355

Morning 6-Pack - Founding Funnies: What Would They Say?

Published on: 30th June, 2026

Morning 6-Pack - If Our Forefathers Were Alive Today! Get ready to giggle and guffaw as we dive into the top six things our founding fathers would totally say if they were kicking it in the modern world. Spoiler alert: it involves some wild takes on texting, taxes, and, of course, liberty! I mean, can you believe they fought a war over a 3% tax on tea, while we’re out here tipping 25% on our lattes? 😂 We're crackin’ open the morning 6-pack with some knee-slappers that’ll have you rolling! So grab your coffee, sit back, and let’s get this hilarity rolling like a rogue tax collector!

Takeaways:

  • Kick off your day right, folks! The best way to start is with a laugh and a Morning 6-Pack!
  • Get ready for some classic humor! We’ve got six hilarious jokes that’ll have you rolling!
  • Imagine our forefathers dropping truth bombs today! What would they say? Spoiler: it’s funny!
  • From quills to thumbs up emojis, we’re comparing old school to new school. What a ride!
  • Get this: they fought over a 3% tea tax, and we tip 25% on coffee? What a world!
  • Early to bed means lonely dudes, so party it up, people! Let’s keep the fun alive!
Transcript
Speaker A:

Best way to start your day.

Speaker A:

These six jokes he's about to say.

Speaker A:

Listen up for old head stack, crack open the morning six pack.

Speaker B:

These are the top six things that our forefathers would say if they were alive today.

Speaker B:

As we make our way into Independence Day, the top six things our forefathers, our founding Fathers, would say if they were alive today.

Speaker B:

Number six, a penny saved is almost impossible these days.

Speaker B:

5.

Speaker B:

We drafted the entire United States Constitution by hand with a feather quill, but you can't reply to a single text message without using a tiny cartoon thumbs up.

Speaker B:

4.

Speaker B:

My only regret is that I have but one life to lose in Pac Man.

Speaker B:

Number three, early to bed and early to rise tends to make for lonely guys.

Speaker B:

Give me liberty.

Speaker B:

Liberty, Liberty, Liberty.

Speaker B:

Liberty.

Speaker B:

And the number one thing our forefathers would say if they were alive today.

Speaker B:

We fought a whole war over a 3% tax on tea, and you people are out here willingly adding a 25% tip to a digital kiosk for a coffee.

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About the Podcast

Haysnacks
Quick Bites. Big Laughs. You'll Want Seconds!
Enjoy Haysnacks, the bite-sized comedy podcast from Northwest Arkansas’s own Haystack—morning radio’s master of mischief on 106.5 KBVA and 96.7 The Bull. Each episode packs in the best moments from Haystack’s daily shows, including fan-favorite highlights, his legendary “morning six pack” top 6 lists, and the hilarious weekly phone call with his super-redneck pal, Alabama Bama. Don’t miss the Saturday “Leftovers” episode, where Haystack serves up the jokes and bits that didn’t make it on air (due to time, or because they were too weird or wild). Designed for busy listeners, Haysnacks delivers quick, snackable laughs whenever you need them—perfect for your commute, coffee break, or anytime you want a dose of fun.

About your host

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Mark Wells