Episode 467
Morning 6-Pack - Fall TV Flops: Six Premieres That Smell Like Cancellation
I'm doing a Morning 6-Pack of the top six new TV shows I think most likely won't make it this fall. Fall TV's a dumpster fire now — 900 shows, 14 apps, three spinoffs, four reboots — so I roast the nonsense before your streaming bill does. We rip through stuff like Pawn Stars: Facebook Marketplace (yes, really), The Voice 2AM karaoke for folks who had one too many gin & tonics, Shark Tank turned lemonade-stand interrogation, 90 Day Fiancé prison pen pals, and a Great British Baking Show... but powered by an Easy-Bake Oven. It's fast, sarcastic, and dumb in the best way, and I save the number-one burn for the end — not telling you that one here. Tune in for quick jokes, silly takes, and me saving you time by telling you which new shows you can skip.
Takeaways:
- I joked fall TV is drowning in reboots and spinoffs, like every idea cloned itself, lol.
- We ran a goofy morning six pack countdown mocking reality-show trends and how saturated streaming is.
- I named silly fake shows like Pawn Stars Facebook Marketplace and Top Chef Air Fryer to roast TV burnout.
- We mocked specific upcoming shows—Team Moms Baseball and Traitors New Blood—as likely short-lived and kinda ridiculous.
- I said fall premieres used to feel like a national holiday, now it's 900 shows across too many apps, yikes.
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker A:It's Haystack.
Speaker A:I'm going to do something I don't do very often.
Speaker A:I'm going to do an early morning morning six pack.
Speaker A:I do these morning six packs all the time, but usually seven, eight o', clock, something like that.
Speaker A:We're going to do two six packs this morning and it kind of pays tribute to the classic David Letterman top 10 list.
Speaker A:It's, it's just a silly countdown of stupid, terrible jokes.
Speaker A:But this morning six pack, it's going to be all about TV shows because we're almost a fall TV season and you know, fall TV season used to be like this huge national event.
Speaker A:I mean you, you get the big network premiere week, there'd be a TV Guide dedicated to it.
Speaker A:Maybe your couch would have actual family members on it.
Speaker A:And now TV fall season is here's 900 shows across 14 apps and three of the shows are spinoffs and four reboots.
Speaker A:One's based on a podcast and who knows what Paramount plus is charging this month.
Speaker A:There are a few new shows to note.
Speaker A:NBC has a new drama called Line of Fire, also a comedy called Newlyweds.
Speaker A:And what's being billed is a civilian version of the Traitors called the Traitors New Blood.
Speaker A:Then on Prime Video, there's Neagly, a spin off of Reacher because every successful show now has to reproduce like rabbits.
Speaker A:Although to be fair, I'm excited for this one because I do love the Niegly character.
Speaker A:Maybe a little too much over on Paramount.
Speaker A:Plus there's Team Moms Baseball, produced by Kim Kardashian about intense parents at an elite youth baseball academy.
Speaker A:This is going to be the most American TV show ever made.
Speaker A:Kids chasing scholarships, parents losing their minds, cameras rolling somewhere, a dad saying, oh, we're just here to have fun while holding a laminated batting chart criticizing everything that the manager does.
Speaker A:Either way, there's some new TV shows out and I've, I've got a few of these new TV shows that I think there's a pretty good chance they're not gonna make it.
Speaker B:Well, gather round folks.
Speaker B:It's the time of day when we laugh and smile in a light hearted way.
Speaker B:Tune in for the giggles and let's kick back.
Speaker B:Here comes the fun.
Speaker B:It's the morning six pack.
Speaker A:These are the top six new TV shows that I think most likely probably won't make it.
Speaker A:Number six, Pawn Stars, Facebook Marketplace.
Speaker A: Rick tries to negotiate a: Speaker A:That would be a fun show already caught on.
Speaker A:These are all fake.
Speaker A:Number number five, the Voice 2am Karaoke blind auditions featuring people who had way too many gin and tonics.
Speaker A:Number four, Shark Tank lemonade stand billionaires ruthlessly grilling a nine year old on her supply chain.
Speaker A:Logistics.
Speaker A:I could see that happening somewhere around here.
Speaker A:I really could.
Speaker A:Number three, 90 Day Fiance Prison pen pal.
Speaker A:Will they make it down the aisle before parole is denied?
Speaker A:Number two, the great British baking show.
Speaker A:Easy Bake Oven.
Speaker A:Culinary masterpieces all baked entirely with a 100 watt incandescent light bulb.
Speaker A:That would be fun.
Speaker A:Why not?
Speaker A:And the number one new TV show that most likely won't make it.
Speaker A:Top Chef Air Fryer.
Speaker A:Every single dish overcooked on the outside and frozen in the middle.
