Episode 51
Morning 6-Pack - Baby Name Battles: What Not to Name Your Kid!
Alright, folks! This week we're diving into the wacky world of baby names and the wild reasons couples split over 'em! Picture this: a couple in Shanghai is calling it quits after two years 'cause they can't agree on what to name their baby boy. I mean, come on, it’s not like they’re trying to name a spaceship! 😂 Without a name, the little guy’s birth certificate is stuck in limbo—talk about a major parental fail! So, we’re crackin’ open the Morning 6-Pack with the top six baby names that everyone can agree are a total no-go. Spoiler alert: “Whoopsie” is at the top of that list! Buckle up, it's gonna be a hilarious ride! 🎉
Ever thought about what makes couples go their separate ways? I mean, besides the obvious reasons like infidelity and stealing the last slice of pizza? Well, I’m diving into this wild story about a couple from Shanghai who threw in the towel after a two-year marriage because they couldn’t agree on a name for their baby boy. Yep, you heard that right! They’re stuck in a naming battle that even the courts couldn't settle. It’s like a sitcom but with real-life stakes—no birth certificate, no medical care, and now, a divorce. I mean, come on, how hard can it be to pick a name? If they can’t settle this, I’d suggest they just go with the top default names: if it’s a girl, just call her Olivia, and if it’s a boy, boom, Liam it is! But nope, these lovebirds were adamant about their chosen names. So, in a twist of fate, while they’re duking it out for custody of their little one, our top six list of baby names that are, let’s be real, just terrible rolls in. We’re talking names that could make anyone cringe! From the totally zen to the downright goofy, we spill the beans on names you should definitely avoid. Let’s just say, “Whoopsie” made the list, and honestly, can you blame it?
Takeaways:
- Couples can get totally tangled up in naming their kid, like it's a game of tug-of-war!
- A couple in Shanghai is divorcing over baby name drama—talk about a name game gone wrong!
- Top 6 baby names that parents should steer clear of—because who wants a kid named Fappy?
- Naming a kid shouldn't be a battlefield, but some parents sure treat it like one!
- If you can’t agree on a name, just go with the default: Liam or Olivia, am I right?
- Naming a kid is tough, but ruling out the cringe-worthy ones should be easy peasy!
Transcript
You know, you hear about people divorcing over, quote, irreconcilable differences.
Speaker A:You ever wonder what those differences were?
Speaker A:Well, you know, sometimes couples can't agree on stuff like money or values.
Speaker A:Dogs versus cats.
Speaker A:Taco Bell, yes or no.
Speaker A:Or maybe children, specifically what to name them.
Speaker A:A couple in Shanghai, China, has filed for divorce after two years of marriage because they had a baby boy last year and can't agree on a name.
Speaker A:Now, I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but they both insisted on a name, and neither side will budge.
Speaker A:And without a name, a birth certificate cannot be issued.
Speaker A:And without a name and without a birth certificate, a lot of important things have been stuck in limbo, even basic medical procedures and care.
Speaker A:You know, the boy's been alive about a year.
Speaker A:The.
Speaker A:The hospital tried to issue what was essentially like a makeshift placeholder birth certificate.
Speaker A:Then the courts tried to force the parents to get their stuff together for the sake of the child, but nothing worked.
Speaker A:They absolutely refused to budge.
Speaker A:So now, on top of all this, they're getting a divorce.
Speaker A:So there's a custody battle over the baby boy, little baby, whatever his name is.
Speaker A:Oh, goodness.
Speaker A:You know, the great thing about America, there's this unspoken rule.
Speaker A:It seems like these days if you can't agree on a name, it's just, you know, there's the default.
Speaker A:If it's a girl, she's Olivia.
Speaker A:If he's a boy, it's Liam.
Speaker A:End of debate.
Speaker A:Most popular names for years.
Speaker A:So that's why it's just the default, you know?
Speaker A:But finding a name for kids can be hard.
Speaker A:And I. I get that.
Speaker A:I've never had kids.
Speaker A:I've only had dogs.
Speaker A:But I get that finding a name can be hard.
Speaker A:But in the end, let's start with ruling names out.
Speaker A:That's.
Speaker A:That should be really easy, right?
Speaker A:Ruling names out.
Speaker A:You'll.
Speaker A:You'll understand what I mean when I give you today's top six baby names that all parents can agree are terrible.
Speaker A:Best way to start your day.
Speaker A:These six jokes.
Speaker A:He's about to say, listen up.
Speaker A:For old Haystack to crack open the morning six pack.
Speaker A:That's right.
Speaker A:It is a morning six pack full of baby names that everyone can agree is terrible.
Speaker A:Coming in at number six, Zen.
Speaker A:Number five.
Speaker A:Fappy.
Speaker A:Number four, whatever string of letters and numbers.
Speaker A:Elon Musk named his last kid number three, Colon.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's like, Colin, you just screwed up.
Speaker A:Sorry, Colin.
Speaker A:Number two, Methany.
Speaker A:Oh, methane.
Speaker A:Oh, cute little methany.
Speaker A:My.
Speaker A:My little girl's dog's name is Ethel, but I often call her Methyl because she's so crazy.
Speaker A:And the number one baby name that everyone can agree is just absolutely.
Speaker A:That no parents should ever use.
Speaker A:Whoopsie.
Speaker A:You were a mistake.
