Episode 582
Midterms got you feelin’ 'mid'?
Tomorrow is Election Day, and I gotta say 8 out of 10 voters want big changes — we’re totally over politics. We talk about how people are disgusted, only 1 in 10 feel optimistic, and both parties look like equally awful menu options. It’s basically choosing between rotten apples while the ads scream “my opponent will destroy America,” which is hilarious and terrifying. We riff on “electile dysfunction” and pitch a fake miracle drug, Votagra, for anyone who can’t get excited about voting — satire vibes, lol. Even so, I’m hitting the polls, and we want you to too, even if it’s just to pick the least bad clown.
Takeaways:
- We joke that politics feels like a gross restaurant menu and I can't pick anything I actually want.
- I mention a poll where eight out of ten voters want big changes, and that stat lands like a gut punch.
- We riff on 'electile dysfunction' and our fake drug Votagra to make voting apathy feel laughable but disturbingly real.
- I admit both parties seem busted and every candidate's ad screams 'they'll destroy America,' which is hilariously over the top.
- We still say go vote even if you're totally meh, because changing the script takes showing up, not just yelling at the TV.
Transcript
It's haystack.
Speaker A:And tomorrow is, of course, election Day.
Speaker A:And if you're having trouble getting excited about it, well, you're not alone.
Speaker A:A lot of Americans are really disgusted with politics right now.
Speaker A:A new poll from the Associated Press finds that 8 out of 10 voters want major changes in the way our country is run, and only 1 in 10 feel optimistic about American politics.
Speaker A:I mean, at this point, politics is less popular than anything else we complain about, and it's.
Speaker A:It's not like either party is really inspiring tremendous confidence.
Speaker A:Roughly half of all voters do not believe Republicans or Democrats are capable of solving any of our problems.
Speaker A:It's like going to a restaurant where you hate everything on the menu, and someone keeps insisting you have to pick something.
Speaker A:You have to keep going to that restaurant.
Speaker A:We've spent months watching all these political commercials, and every single candidate says their opponent is a dangerous idiot who will destroy America.
Speaker A:And at this point, I pretty much believe all of them, as in both sides saying the opponents will destroy America, because they're just all gonna destroy America.
Speaker A:If you're.
Speaker A:Look, if you're having trouble getting excited about voting, it's understandable, but there is a little blue pill for that.
Speaker A:Are the midterms making you feel mid?
Speaker A:You may be suffering from electile dysfunction, but help with Votagra.
Speaker B:I just can't get up for any of these clowns.
Speaker A:Votagra is for Americans having trouble picking which candidate sucks the least.
Speaker B:When I turn on the TV and see negative campaign ads, I'm turned off.
Speaker B:But Vote Agra gets me ready for a big election.
Speaker A:Consult your doctor before taking Votagra to see if you're smart enough to vote for an indecision lasting longer than two years.
Speaker A:Seek immediate medical attention for a common and serious side effect called incurable stupidity.
Speaker B:I'm going to the polls.
Speaker B:And now the only ones flip flopping are the candidates.
Speaker A:Votagra, because your choice is hard.
