Episode 153
Equal Time Shenanigans: When Politics Meets Punchlines đ
Alrighty, folks! So, weâre diving into some spicy political tea todayâStephen Colbert's out here breaking rules like a kid in a candy store! He had a sit-down planned with a Texas Democratic candidate, but CBS was like, "Nuh-uh, bucko!" because of the FCCâs equal time rule. But wait, thereâs a plot twist! Colbert took that convo to YouTube insteadâ'cause who needs TV rules when youâve got the internet, am I right? đ I also share my own wild ride with political candidates wanting airtime. Spoiler alert: no interviews here, just a sprinkle of regulations and a whole lotta laughs. Plus, Iâve got some hilarious voicemails from listeners who donât hold backâlike, wowza! So buckle up for a fun ride filled with giggles, politics, and a little bit of chaos! đ
Takeaways:
- Stephen Colbert's political interview fiasco shows how wild FCC rules can be, right?
- Got some voicemails from listeners that are absolute gems, one even mentions shipping me to Russia!
- Equal time rules are like that annoying friend who always wants to be includedâhard to deal with!
- I like poking fun at both sides, but apparently, some folks just can't handle the truth!
- Listeners think I'm a flaming liberal? Well, I guess I need to spice it up a bit!
- Wishing you a good morning is now a regulated affairâthanks, FCC, for the added pressure!
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker A:It's Haystack.
Speaker A:And late night host Stephen Colbert has stirred up more controversy after revealing that he had planned to interview a Democratic Senate candidate in Texas.
Speaker A:A James Talarico.
Speaker A:And the CBS network told him, no, you can't do that because it could violate the Federal Communications Commission's equal time rule, which is a regulation to require broadcast outlets to offer comparable airtime to all political candidates in a race.
Speaker A:Colbert said that the network lawyers told him he can't have him on the show, he can't mention the cancellation on the show.
Speaker A:So he recorded the interview and posted it on YouTube, where equal time provisions do not apply.
Speaker A:I actually had someone reach out to me on Facebook messenger the other day and say, somebody's running.
Speaker A:It was a local office.
Speaker A:I'm not gonna say which office or which candidate, mainly because I don't remember.
Speaker A:But they said, would you do an interview?
Speaker A:They just, you know, there's the person in there now there's no good, and they're going to be great.
Speaker A:And I thought, I can't.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:And we're not a news station.
Speaker A:So I, you know, I said, they're welcome to buy advertising at the lowest rate allowed them by law because there are a lot of regulations around that stuff.
Speaker A:But I can't just bring them on for an interview or have to offer everyone that.
Speaker A:And we're not trying to do that here.
Speaker A:But the dispute is around what's called the equal time rules.
Speaker A:And traditionally, those have really only applied to news programs.
Speaker A:The talk shows, the entertainment shows weren't.
Speaker A:They didn't really have that enforced.
Speaker A:They were exempt from that.
Speaker A:But now the FCC is saying, you know, really, if you have a public airwaves license, all of that airtime is public, and you should give equal time at all times.
Speaker A:Which is why, if you've ever listened to me, any length of time, you do know that I. I poke fun at politicians at.
Speaker A:At current events, but I try to poke fun at both sides.
Speaker A:And you may think, no, you're clearly on this side, or, no, you're clearly on that side.
Speaker A:I will remind you that you don't necessarily hear the whole show.
Speaker A:So I may poke fun at your guy one moment and it might be 30 minutes later when I poke fun at the other guy.
Speaker A:Here are two very rare, real, genuine, 100% truly authentic voicemails that were left for me.
Speaker A:I guess it was about a year and a half ago.
Speaker A:It was during the last campaign season when I was poking fun at politicians.
Speaker A:Seriously, 100% real a couple minutes ago.
Speaker B:On your station, the DJ made a derogatory kind of reference, so it makes me question your leadership and hiring this yahoo, whoever he is.
Speaker B:Don't care.
Speaker B:Seems like he's pretty unintelligent, ignorant, and maybe a possibly maga insurrectionist traitor you've got announcing on your station.
Speaker B:That's not cool.
Speaker B:Mega Insurrection Traders have no place on radio stations in Arkansas or for that matter, in this nation.
Speaker B:I think they should all move to Russia, go be with their buddy Pooty.
Speaker A:Well, I don't speak Russian and I don't like the cold and I don't drink vodka.
Speaker A:So if you're gonna ship me off overseas, can it be somewhere down in South America or Central America where I can maybe get some rum on a beach?
Speaker A:Because I'm a rum guy.
Speaker A:Again, 100% real.
Speaker A:Three days apart from this voicemail in.
Speaker C:A regular listener for many years now, I just wanted to voice my opinion.
Speaker C:This morning, you guys, about 7:45, you played a very derogatory, supposedly satirical piece on Trump falling asleep.
Speaker C:I consider that to be very disrespectful and I'm contacting all of your advertisers to let them know that if they're going to support you with this, that I consider them all flaming liberal Trump haters, which you now have identified yourself as.
Speaker A:Ouch again.
Speaker A:Both 100 real authentic, 100% real authentic voicemails left over something I said.
Speaker A:No matter which side of the aisle you're on, or if you're like me and you're wide enough to take up the entire aisle, doesn't matter either way, I would like to wish you a very good day.
Speaker A:I hope you have a very good morning.
Speaker A:I guess that could get me in trouble though.
Speaker A:I would like to wish everyone a very good morning.
Speaker A:However, pursuant to the FCC's equal time regulation, I'm required to also wish you a very crappy morning.
Speaker A:May your commute be a traffic free joyride and a bumper to bumper nightmare.
Speaker A:May your workday be fulfilling as well as a torture session of clock watching.
Speaker A:But above all, I thank you for spending a little time with me.
Speaker A:And also in the interest of equal time, what have you done for me lately?
