Episode 189
Cornhole Chaos: The Quadruple Amputee Who Took Aim at Trouble!
Whoa, folks! Grab your beanbags and buckle up, 'cause we’re diving headfirst into the wild world of cornhole crime drama! Yep, you heard me right—this episode is all about a quadruple amputee cornhole player who’s been accused of a drive-by shooting. I mean, how does that even work? Like, did he have a pit crew or something? We’re talking some serious engineering feats here, folks! And let’s be real, cornhole is supposed to be the chillest sport around—snacks, friends, and zero running involved! So, how did our buddy go from tossing bags to allegedly throwing down some serious chaos? Tune in as we unravel this bizarre tale and throw in some of our classic laughs and “leftovers” that didn’t quite make the cut!
Takeaways:
- Cornhole's a chill sport, but this quadruple amputee's drive-by is wild—like, what?
- Imagine coordinating a drive-by as a quadruple amputee; that’s some next-level engineering!
- Who knew cornhole tournaments could escalate into actual crime scenes? Watch out, folks!
- From beanbags to bullets, this story's got Netflix documentary vibes written all over it!
- Cornhole players just wanna toss bags and snack; who knew they could go rogue?
- What’s next? A violent pickleball showdown? Gary, it doesn't have to be this way!
Transcript
It's Haystack.
Speaker A:And I have tried really hard not to talk about this story, if I'm being honest, because it's going to be so easy for me to get in trouble.
Speaker A:But if you've not seen the headline there.
Speaker A:There's this story about a quadruple amputee cornhole player accused of a drive by shooting.
Speaker A:I'm not making this up.
Speaker A:Now, first of all, cornhole.
Speaker A:Cornhole is like the most horn wholesome sport we have.
Speaker A:It's the game your uncle plays with his beer belly hanging out and a knee brace on and.
Speaker A:And no one goes, careful, things might escalate at the cornhole tournament.
Speaker A:What are we gonna have next?
Speaker A:A violent outbreak at pickleball?
Speaker A:Drop the battle, Gary.
Speaker A:This doesn't have to end like this.
Speaker A:And the.
Speaker A:And then the headline hits you with quadruple amputee, which immediately makes your brain go, okay, logistically, I'm gonna need a diagram because I can barely text and walk at the same time, and this guy is allegedly out here coordinating something.
Speaker A:That sounds like a deleted scene from Fast and Furious, but without arms and hands and drive by shooting.
Speaker A:So what.
Speaker A:What kind of vehicle setup are we talking about here?
Speaker A:This isn't just a crime.
Speaker A:It's an engineering project.
Speaker A:There has to be some kind of whole pit crew involved somewhere.
Speaker A:There's a guy that's like, I. I signed up to toss bean bog beanbags, man.
Speaker A:How.
Speaker A:How did we get here and cornhole again?
Speaker A:Cornhole players are the most chill, quote unquote athletes.
Speaker A:They don't even run.
Speaker A:The whole sport is stand, toss, eat some snacks.
Speaker A:You're telling me someone went from nice throw, buddy to all right, we ride at dawn.
Speaker A:I mean, this sounds like espn.
Speaker A:The Ocho investigation, Discovery, and, I don't know, Mythbusters all got drunk and wrote a headline together.
Speaker A:And of course, there's already a Netflix documentary.
Speaker A:It's called Beanbag to Bullet An American Story.
