Episode 130
Chirp, Chirp, Cheater: The Parrot's Got Tea!
Picture this: a dude in the UK learns his girlfriend is cheating on him, and it's not from a nosy friend or a late-night snoop sesh. Nope! It's from their pet parrot! I mean, can we talk about a winged whistleblower? This feathered fella starts squawking 'I love you, Gary' out of nowhere, and suddenly our boy is like, 'Wait, who the heck is Gary?' Talk about a red flag with wings, am I right? It’s like having an emotional support Alexa that spills the tea on your relationship! So, there he is, just chilling on the couch, and his parrot is throwing shade like it’s a reality TV show! We dive into this hilarious saga where the parrot takes on the role of the ultimate relationship commentator. Imagine the drama—every time the girl walks in, the parrot’s dishing out hot takes like, 'He deserves better' and 'Gary wouldn’t treat him like this.' Honestly, I’m here for it! So if you ever think about cheating, maybe don't do it in a house with a parrot. Or just don’t cheat at all!
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker B:It's Haystack.
Speaker B:And in the United Kingdom, a man found out that his girlfriend was cheating on him because their pet parrot ratted her out.
Speaker B:Yeah, the parrot started squawking, I love you, Gary.
Speaker B:No, see, I'm not making this up.
Speaker B:Listen, first of all, when your own pet starts sounding like a late night text message, that should be a red flag with wings.
Speaker B:Can you imagine this guy just sitting at home watching tv, and suddenly the.
Speaker A:Parrot'S like, ah, love you, Gary.
Speaker A:Love you, Gary.
Speaker B:And you.
Speaker B:Who in the hell is Gary?
Speaker A:Ah, just a friend.
Speaker A:Just a friend.
Speaker A:Don't be insecure.
Speaker B:It's like, you know, what do you do?
Speaker B:Do you hire a private investigator?
Speaker B:Do you get a bowl of crackers and try to bribe the parrot to tell you more?
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And then the girlfriend got busted by a parrot that's got a sting, you know, and she's.
Speaker B:She's got to be arguing.
Speaker B:Oh, I can't believe you don't trust me.
Speaker B:No, I, I don't.
Speaker B:It's not that I trust Polly, and Polly don't lie.
Speaker B:Every time she walks in the room, the parrot's doing relationship commentary like, ah, he deserves better.
Speaker A:Gary wouldn't treat him like this.
Speaker A:Justice for Dave.
Speaker A:I gotta, you know, out of all.
Speaker B:The animals, to bust a cheater, I love that it's a parrot.
Speaker B:I mean, talk about dramatic.
Speaker B:A dog wouldn't say anything.
Speaker B:A cat, Please, cat, be like, yeah, Gary brought me snacks.
Speaker B:I'm team Gary now.
Speaker B:But a parrot, A parrot records the receipts.
Speaker B:It's like.
Speaker B:It's like having, you know, an emotional support Alexa over in the corner recording everything that you're your bay does.
Speaker B:And so that's maybe the worst part, though, is the guy didn't suspect a thing until the parrot starts blurting out.
Speaker A:I love you, Gary.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B:So the.
Speaker B:The lady and Gary must have been getting real comfortable in that apartment.
Speaker B:Gary must have been.
Speaker B:Can you imagine over there feeding the bird like, here you go, little buddy.
Speaker B:Here's some seeds.
Speaker A:Keep our secrets.
Speaker A:Yeah, right.
Speaker B:I guess if you're going to cheat, don't do it in an apartment with a talking bird.
Speaker B:Or just maybe don't cheat.
Speaker B:Maybe the next thing we know, the way it is these days, that parrot's about to have a podcast and it will spill all the tea.
