Episode 455
Billionaire Bunker to Malibu — I Break Down the West-Coast Migration
Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump are reportedly house hunting in Malibu — yep, they might be trading their Miami “billionaire bunker” for West Coast sunsets. I riff on how that bunker sounds less like a neighborhood and more like where Batman villains argue about property taxes. Turns out Josh Kushner’s tied up with the group buying the Lakers with Bob Iger, so maybe this move is about courtside seats more than vibes. I poke fun at Malibu being perfect for the rich — ocean views, privacy, wellness spas, and a “low-key” house that costs more than a hospital. We joke about rich people moving because the vibe changed, not rent or jobs, and I tease Ivanka’s apparent quest for a third mansion like it’s some deluxe collector’s item.
Takeaways:
- I joked that Jared and Ivanka are reportedly house-hunting in Malibu, trading Miami bunker life for ocean views and mega-secrecy.
- We noted the timing looked sus since Jared’s brother Josh is tied to the group buying the Lakers, so courtside seats might be in the family plan.
- I teased that Malibu is peak rich-people real estate: ocean views, wellness spas, security gates, humblebragging from houses pricier than hospitals.
- We made fun of the irony of Trump-world folks moving to the left coast, because rich people move for vibes, not politics.
- I reminded listeners Ivanka reportedly wants a third house and, for tax reasons, they can plant roots wherever billionaire life prefers.
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker A:It's Haystack and Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump are reportedly house hunting in Malibu.
Speaker A:They've been living around Miami's billionaire bunker.
Speaker A:And you know, that sounds less like a neighborhood, more like a place where Batman villains compare property taxes.
Speaker A:Billionaire bunker.
Speaker A:But now, according to Page Six, they are house hunting in Malibu.
Speaker A:And the timing is actually kind of interesting on this thing because Jared Kushner's brother Josh Kushner is part of the group that's buying the Los Angeles Lakers with Disney chief Bob Iger.
Speaker A:So this may not just be a thing of, oh, we like sunsets.
Speaker A:This may be our family group now includes courtside seats.
Speaker A:I mean, Malibu is perfect, I guess, for rich people.
Speaker A:It combines everything rich people love.
Speaker A:Ocean views and privacy and wellness and security gates and the ability to tell people that you're keeping things low key from a house that costs more than a hospital.
Speaker A:And politically, it's kind of funny because moving to the left coast sounds dramatic for two Trump world figures.
Speaker A:But you know, rich people, politics are different.
Speaker A:Normal people move for jobs or for schools or for family or lower rent.
Speaker A:Rich people move because the vibe has changed.
Speaker A:The Lakers got involved.
Speaker A:Miami was starting to feel a little too crowded with other billionaires moving in.
Speaker A:You know, now that I think about the rich people moving west reminds me a little bit of another story that many of us are familiar with.
Speaker A:Come and listen to my story about Ivanka Trump.
Speaker A:Wants to live in the California sun, looking for mansions up in Malibu, wants to buy a third house.
Speaker A:Cause she's only got two.
Speaker A:Well, it's complicated.
Speaker A:You see, for tax purposes, Ivanka and Jared are multi billionaires, so they can pretty much up and move anywhere.
Speaker A:Government in Florida is run by the gop, but a Democratic state isn't where they want to be.
Speaker A:Gavin Newsomed is Nancy Pelosi.
Speaker A:The Trump malibolies.
