Episode 3
Alabama Bama Recaps Her Fourth of July
Alabama Bama is back, y’all, and she’s got stories that’ll make your jaw drop faster than a hot dog at a BBQ! After the 4th of July, she’s here to spill the tea on her wild holiday mishaps—think eyebrow casualties and a jello wrestling injury that’s too spicy for the airwaves! But wait, it gets crazier: Bama had to rescue a drunk Lee Greenwood impersonator who decided the inflatable kiddie pool was his new bestie. Can you say “party foul”? And just when you thought it couldn’t get better, she totally mashed up “God Bless the USA” with “Man, I Feel Like a Woman” and brought the house down! So grab your snacks and get ready for a good laugh because this chat is as chaotic as a family reunion with too many fireworks!
Alabama Bama is back, and boy, does she have stories for days! After surviving the 4th of July bash, she spills the tea on her wild escapades that sound like they came straight out of a sitcom. Picture this: a Lee Greenwood impersonator who’s had one too many (shocking, I know) and ends up face-first in a kiddie pool! Classic Bama chaos, am I right? But don’t worry, our girl swoops in to save the day with a karaoke mashup that would make anyone weep—tears of joy, that is! Who knew God Bless the USA could sound so much like Man! I Feel Like a Woman? Yeah, just another day in Bama's world. And let’s not forget about her post-holiday cleanse that consists of nothing but meat and menthols. It’s a high-protein, low-vegetable diet that only Bama could pull off. Tune in for all the giggles and chaos as we dive into the wild life of Alabama Bama, where every moment is a punchline waiting to happen!
Takeaways:
- Alabama Bama survived the 4th of July with only a mild concussion and missing eyebrows, so that's a win!
- Turns out, hiring a drunk Lee Greenwood impersonator for your party is a risky move—who knew?
- Bama's epic karaoke mashup of 'God Bless the USA' and 'Man, I Feel Like a Woman' brought literal tears to the party, and maybe to my eyes too!
- Post-4th of July cleanses are just meat and menthols—Bama's diet is definitely unique and a little concerning!
- Bama's version of a cleanse: only eating greens if they come wrapped around a burger—now that's my kind of health plan!
- We learned that inflatable kiddie pools and drunk impersonators are a recipe for hilarity and chaos, especially at parties!
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker A:It's Haystack.
Speaker A:It's time for one of my favorite times of the week when we chat with my dear old friend Bama out in Alabama.
Speaker A:It's Alabama Bama, and it's the.
Speaker A:It's the first chance I've had to talk with her since the 4th of July.
Speaker A:So, Bama, can you please tell me that you made it through in one piece this year and not multiple pieces?
Speaker B:Well, hey, Stack, most of me made it.
Speaker B:I guess another fourth came and went and so did my eyebrows, but.
Speaker B:But other than that, it's just a mild concussion and one unmentionable jello wrestling injury, but nothing I can't power walk through.
Speaker A:Oh, no, that sounds like several, er, worthy incidents.
Speaker B:Oh, you ain't even heard the best part yet.
Speaker B:Verna hired a Lee Greenwood impersonator for the party, but he got drunker than a stepdad at a monster truck rally and he passed out in the inflatable kiddie pool, yo.
Speaker A:What?
Speaker A:Well, what happened next?
Speaker B:So then I had to step in and save the day.
Speaker B:Of course, now, I didn't know all the lyrics though, so it kind of turned into a mashup of God bless the USA and man, I feel like a woman, and let me tell you, I slayed it.
Speaker B:There were tears, Haystack.
Speaker B:Literal tears.
Speaker A:Yeah, I'm.
Speaker A:I'm afraid to admit it, but I almost.
Speaker A:I almost believe you.
Speaker A:I kind of believe you.
Speaker B:Well, you should.
Speaker B:But now I gotta go.
Speaker B:I'm on a post 4th of July cleanse where I only have meat and menthols and I just realized I'm all out of meat.
Speaker A:Wait, no, no veggies.
Speaker B:Oh, please.
Speaker B:I only chew greens when they're wrapped around a hamburger.
Speaker A:Land of the free and home of the bandaged.
