Episode 98
Alabama Bama on Holiday Shenanigans: Squishmallows & Probation!
Alabama Bama's back and this time, we're diving headfirst into the holiday chaos! đ We kick things off with Bama reminiscing about her epic slip-and-slide adventures from the 4th of July, and before you know it, Mariah Carey is screeching her way into Christmas! đ Bama's on a mission for a drama-free holiday after last year's squishmallow showdown at Walgreensâspoiler alert: it didnât end well! This year, she's swapping the holiday brawls for some zen breathing exercises (who knew menthols could be so calming? đ¤ˇââď¸). Grab your cocoa and tune in as we share laughs, holiday fails, and Bamaâs epic plans to untangle those pesky Christmas lights (and her probation monitor)! Itâs a jolly good time, yâall! Alabama Bama's back in the house, and you know what that meansâit's time for some wild holiday tales! This week, Bama's spillin' the tea on her chaotic Christmas plans, and trust me, itâs a rollercoaster. Kicking off with a flashback to summer, Bama reminisces about her Fourth of July slip ân slide adventures (mayonnaise included, obviously!). But then, just like Mariah Carey swooping in with her holiday tunes, itâs time to dust off the Christmas lights and untangle that mess! But wait, thereâs more! Bama shares her not-so-glorious last Christmas story, which involves a squishmallow, a Walgreens, and a brawl that ended with some serious restraining order drama. Who knew holiday shopping could be so intense? Spoiler alert: she didnât win the plush toy, but she definitely won the best stories. And now, sheâs all about peace on earth and breathing exercises to keep those holiday vibes chill. Youâll be laughing and shaking your head in disbelief as Bama outlines her unique method of mindfulnessâjust picture a menthol rag! So grab your eggnog, sit back, and get ready for some belly laughs because this is one holiday chat thatâs sure to put you in the festive spirit!
Transcript
Good morning.
Speaker A:It's Haystack.
Speaker A:It's pretty much my favorite time of the week when we chat.
Speaker A:My dear old friend from rural Alabama, this is Bama.
Speaker A:And Bama, how are you holding up?
Speaker A:It feels like we just got done with summertime and boom, we're done with Turkey day and it's basically Christmas time again.
Speaker B:Oh, hey, Stack.
Speaker B:I know it seems like just yesterday my whole body was a slathered in mayonnaise and I was a flying down a slip and slide on the 4th of July.
Speaker B:Then bam, Mariah Carey out here screeching like a dolphin again.
Speaker A:Well, I guess that's.
Speaker A:That's one way to mark the seasons.
Speaker B:I need a redo after last Christmas, though.
Speaker B:I caught charges for fighting a woman over the last squishmallow at the Walgreens.
Speaker A:Oh, no.
Speaker A:Please tell me you at least won that squishmallow.
Speaker B:Well, technically, no.
Speaker B:But I did get a restraining order that says she can't come within 500ft of any plush toy shaped like a cat.
Speaker A:Okay, okay, so what is the plan this year?
Speaker A:We're gonna have peace on earth?
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:No violence from me.
Speaker B:This year I'm all about breathing exercises.
Speaker B:I take a big old rag off of a menthol, I hold it for four seconds, then I push it out for six.
Speaker B:Makes my spirit feel like it got pressure washed.
Speaker B:Plus it keeps me from a deck in anybody's halls.
Speaker A:Well, that's a kind of unique mindfulness.
Speaker B:It works.
Speaker B:Anyway, I got to go.
Speaker B:These Christmas lights ain't a gonna untangle themselves.
Speaker B:And neither is my probation ankle monitor cord.
Speaker A:Oh, no.
Speaker A:Well, happy holidays and Merry Christmas, Bama.
Speaker B:Got you, sugar.
